Skip to main content

A Christmas Joke ~ It's Scottish

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says: "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". "Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."


Friday Funnies is hosted by Kim
at Homesteader's Heart.


"Lang may yer lum reek"
Long may your chimney smoke (Scottish for may you live long & prosper!)

Comments

  1. LorenDecember 10, 2010 at 12:30 AM

    Oh boy they got them didn't they!! too cute!

    Happy Friday Mary! Love you

    ReplyDelete
  2. LisaShawDecember 10, 2010 at 6:56 AM

    Oh my Mary I confess I was a little nervous until the last paragraph (the punch line)...(smile) then I remembered you did say "joke" in your title (smile). That was funny!!!

    You are certainly the pile of smiles lady as every time I get over here I leave SMILING!

    I was off line for two weeks and just returned this week so I'm catching up with blogging friends. I pray that you and your family are doing well and had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I also wish for a beautiful Christmas for you and your family.

    Your LOAM is set to post after midnight tonight. I'm excited as I know it will bless MANY for Christ. I love you sister in Christ!~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather HartDecember 10, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    That was awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Janet RoseDecember 10, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    So funny! Stopping by from Friday Funnies today.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    Too funny!

    HELP! A BLOGGER NEEDS OUR HELP.

    JO
    LAZYONLOBLOLLY

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Lol!!! That's a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rachel ReneeDecember 10, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    That's so funny and perfect!! :) Have a great Friday!

    ReplyDelete
  8. DeborahDecember 10, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    lol thats a good one!
    Im smiling..from ear to ear!

    Deborah xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartDecember 10, 2010 at 3:08 PM

    I love that. I used that but with Thanksgiving as the holiday. LOL! It cracks me up. I need to remember that for when my kids are grown and gone. HA!

    Have a fabulous day my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  10. http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/December 10, 2010 at 5:26 PM

    HA!! Love that Mary!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    So funny!!!
    Blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  12. SharonDecember 11, 2010 at 11:43 PM

    Mary, this was so much fun! Both my grandmothers were born in Scotland, so my heart beats a little Scottish. Therefore, this lovely story really tickled my MacHeart!!

    Thanks for sharing.

    GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete
  13. lioneagleDecember 18, 2010 at 6:02 AM

    Hi Saleslady371 -

    Thank you...

    This is a hoot. Funny indeed

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Venomous Intruder

It’s the middle of rattlesnake season here on the ranch.  The local news anchor confirmed it.   I’ve seen two already.    While driving along our dirt road yesterday, I mistook a virulent enemy for a branch. I backed up the car, looked again and noticed the branch shifted revealing a rattle at its end. At one of our road association meetings in the barn, Shelby stood up and shouted, “ BOB !” to my next door neighbor.  He’s our vice president and the one all eyes were on as he gave a presentation in the middle of the room.  I sensed fear in the way she yelled his name.  I learned after the meeting that Shelby called out to him like that because she saw a rattler slither in the barn door where she and I sat.  Bob yielded to the interruption and quietly dispatched the enemy.  Ten minutes later, this tough guy was back to center stage falling right back in step with the business at hand.   Bob is my new best friend. ...
42 comments
Read more

Marriage Tip #44: Do What He Wants

I thought about our upcoming anniversary.   I prayed one morning for the marriages in my family, and a sentence about my own dropped in my spirit:  “ Do What He Wants .”  I paused, “Really?”  He’s his own man.  What if I end up in the wilderness camping by night and target shooting by day?  What if a coyote decides to have me as a late night snack? We celebrated our anniversary early this year, Before the kids come next week.   And we did it his way . This is how it happened. I never asked him about a plan or even mentioned our day.  I remember how it all unfolded at the roundabout just as we drove into Sedona.  He asked me if I would like to go to a baseball game.  I responded excitedly, “Yeah!”  Before the day was over, he purchased tickets for a Diamondbacks home game. He printed them out.  He booked a hotel room so we wouldn’t have to drive home from the city after the late evening game. ...
44 comments
Read more

Hearts for the Kingdom Author Interview

When I finished reading Hearts for the Kingdom last week, I contacted the author, Cho Larson.   We talked about the book and he graciously agreed to be my guest today.  Together we hope to inspire you in your journey of faith to pursue God with a heart that is alive and beating for the Kingdom of God. Mary:  Cho, when I finished your book, I felt loved and very close to my Savior. Cho:  I’m overwhelmed at the encouraging response to it. Mary:  How long did it take to write this book? Cho:  God works in mysterious ways. As I’ve observed God’s hand at work, it’s easy for me to picture Him as the Great Conductor, orchestrating everything in perfect harmony. Hearts for the Kingdom wasn’t my original plan, but after I sent another manuscript I was working on to my editor, while waiting for him to edit, the need became clear for a foundational book. This book required about six months to complete. Mary: as an author, what is the me...
32 comments
Read more