Skip to main content

A Christmas Joke ~ It's Scottish

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says: "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". "Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."


Friday Funnies is hosted by Kim
at Homesteader's Heart.


"Lang may yer lum reek"
Long may your chimney smoke (Scottish for may you live long & prosper!)

Comments

  1. LorenDecember 10, 2010 at 12:30 AM

    Oh boy they got them didn't they!! too cute!

    Happy Friday Mary! Love you

    ReplyDelete
  2. LisaShawDecember 10, 2010 at 6:56 AM

    Oh my Mary I confess I was a little nervous until the last paragraph (the punch line)...(smile) then I remembered you did say "joke" in your title (smile). That was funny!!!

    You are certainly the pile of smiles lady as every time I get over here I leave SMILING!

    I was off line for two weeks and just returned this week so I'm catching up with blogging friends. I pray that you and your family are doing well and had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I also wish for a beautiful Christmas for you and your family.

    Your LOAM is set to post after midnight tonight. I'm excited as I know it will bless MANY for Christ. I love you sister in Christ!~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather HartDecember 10, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    That was awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Janet RoseDecember 10, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    So funny! Stopping by from Friday Funnies today.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    Too funny!

    HELP! A BLOGGER NEEDS OUR HELP.

    JO
    LAZYONLOBLOLLY

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Lol!!! That's a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rachel ReneeDecember 10, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    That's so funny and perfect!! :) Have a great Friday!

    ReplyDelete
  8. DeborahDecember 10, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    lol thats a good one!
    Im smiling..from ear to ear!

    Deborah xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartDecember 10, 2010 at 3:08 PM

    I love that. I used that but with Thanksgiving as the holiday. LOL! It cracks me up. I need to remember that for when my kids are grown and gone. HA!

    Have a fabulous day my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  10. http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/December 10, 2010 at 5:26 PM

    HA!! Love that Mary!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Grace on the Narrow PathDecember 10, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    So funny!!!
    Blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  12. SharonDecember 11, 2010 at 11:43 PM

    Mary, this was so much fun! Both my grandmothers were born in Scotland, so my heart beats a little Scottish. Therefore, this lovely story really tickled my MacHeart!!

    Thanks for sharing.

    GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete
  13. lioneagleDecember 18, 2010 at 6:02 AM

    Hi Saleslady371 -

    Thank you...

    This is a hoot. Funny indeed

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...
21 comments
Read more

Mama's Lipstick

I always wished I could do things with my mom like shop in the mall, share makeup secrets or go to the movies and watch romantic comedies.  My wish never materialized.     My mama behaved like a tomboy.   She loved baseball and pitched with a strong right arm.   She could care less about the latest fashion or the latest movies featured on the big screen.   She never polished her fingernails.    One day after elementary school, I walked into the house to find my mom all dolled up in front of the bathroom mirror, foundation crème, powder, eyebrow pencil and rouge all over the counter sink.  “Who are you?” I asked, thrilled to see my mama putting on the Ritz.  Makeup in place and blotted, she immediately took it off.  “I don’t like the way it feels,” she exclaimed. She retired in Arizona and protected her dry lips with a light rose lipstick, the color of natural lips, a step above ChapStick.  She wore it a few tim...
55 comments
Read more

Book Review of Biblical Minimalism and Give Away

What does minimizing look like?  To the empty nester it may mean downsizing real estate.  To the co-dependent, it may mean pitching some toxic friendships they tend to collect.  I thought I had a handle on Biblical minimalism, but I wasn’t even close.  Biblical minimalism is much more than cleaning out a drawer and discarding unwanted things into a box to take to the thrift store. In her book, Biblical Minimalism, Cheryl E. Smith defines Biblical minimalism as “a complete, whole person release of anything unlike Jesus, a letting go of everything that hinders us from following Him wholeheartedly and single- mindedly , and a relinquishing of all that brings us under bondage to this earthly, very temporary life.” The author gives us a visual of a whole pie that is divided into eight slices.  Each slice describes our lives with areas to analyze to see if pruning or adjustment is needed.  I won’t name them all, but one example is the “emotional ...
9 comments
Read more