Skip to main content

A Christmas Joke ~ It's Scottish

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says: "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". "Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."


Friday Funnies is hosted by Kim
at Homesteader's Heart.


"Lang may yer lum reek"
Long may your chimney smoke (Scottish for may you live long & prosper!)

Comments

  1. LorenDecember 10, 2010 at 12:30 AM

    Oh boy they got them didn't they!! too cute!

    Happy Friday Mary! Love you

    ReplyDelete
  2. LisaShawDecember 10, 2010 at 6:56 AM

    Oh my Mary I confess I was a little nervous until the last paragraph (the punch line)...(smile) then I remembered you did say "joke" in your title (smile). That was funny!!!

    You are certainly the pile of smiles lady as every time I get over here I leave SMILING!

    I was off line for two weeks and just returned this week so I'm catching up with blogging friends. I pray that you and your family are doing well and had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I also wish for a beautiful Christmas for you and your family.

    Your LOAM is set to post after midnight tonight. I'm excited as I know it will bless MANY for Christ. I love you sister in Christ!~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather HartDecember 10, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    That was awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Janet RoseDecember 10, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    So funny! Stopping by from Friday Funnies today.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    Too funny!

    HELP! A BLOGGER NEEDS OUR HELP.

    JO
    LAZYONLOBLOLLY

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Lol!!! That's a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rachel ReneeDecember 10, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    That's so funny and perfect!! :) Have a great Friday!

    ReplyDelete
  8. DeborahDecember 10, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    lol thats a good one!
    Im smiling..from ear to ear!

    Deborah xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartDecember 10, 2010 at 3:08 PM

    I love that. I used that but with Thanksgiving as the holiday. LOL! It cracks me up. I need to remember that for when my kids are grown and gone. HA!

    Have a fabulous day my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  10. http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/December 10, 2010 at 5:26 PM

    HA!! Love that Mary!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    So funny!!!
    Blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  12. SharonDecember 11, 2010 at 11:43 PM

    Mary, this was so much fun! Both my grandmothers were born in Scotland, so my heart beats a little Scottish. Therefore, this lovely story really tickled my MacHeart!!

    Thanks for sharing.

    GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete
  13. lioneagleDecember 18, 2010 at 6:02 AM

    Hi Saleslady371 -

    Thank you...

    This is a hoot. Funny indeed

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Lesson in the Middle

I wanted to dance when I heard the good news.  I don’t need surgery! When my doctor examined me last month, he suspected further care and sent me to a specialist in a city up north.  I had to wait only two weeks to get in to see him.  The specialist did not agree about surgery so I’m off the hook. I learned an important lesson about my faith journey in the middle of the two-week period of waiting for my appointment to see the specialist. I needed to be educated in medical knowledge and procedures so I could make a wise judgment for my future.  A friend suggested a support group with other women so I could glean info.  I joined.  I listened to their experiences and gained understanding.  I researched like crazy.  I became smart. I also became fearful and sometimes angry.  I screamed at Baby, our spirited cockatiel, to shut up when he screeched too much and I noticed my husband spent more time in his man cave. You kno...
25 comments
Read more

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...
23 comments
Read more

Mama's Lipstick

I always wished I could do things with my mom like shop in the mall, share makeup secrets or go to the movies and watch romantic comedies.  My wish never materialized.     My mama behaved like a tomboy.   She loved baseball and pitched with a strong right arm.   She could care less about the latest fashion or the latest movies featured on the big screen.   She never polished her fingernails.    One day after elementary school, I walked into the house to find my mom all dolled up in front of the bathroom mirror, foundation crème, powder, eyebrow pencil and rouge all over the counter sink.  “Who are you?” I asked, thrilled to see my mama putting on the Ritz.  Makeup in place and blotted, she immediately took it off.  “I don’t like the way it feels,” she exclaimed. She retired in Arizona and protected her dry lips with a light rose lipstick, the color of natural lips, a step above ChapStick.  She wore it a few tim...
55 comments
Read more