Skip to main content

A Christmas Joke ~ It's Scottish

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says: "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". "Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."


Friday Funnies is hosted by Kim
at Homesteader's Heart.


"Lang may yer lum reek"
Long may your chimney smoke (Scottish for may you live long & prosper!)

Comments

  1. LorenDecember 10, 2010 at 12:30 AM

    Oh boy they got them didn't they!! too cute!

    Happy Friday Mary! Love you

    ReplyDelete
  2. LisaShawDecember 10, 2010 at 6:56 AM

    Oh my Mary I confess I was a little nervous until the last paragraph (the punch line)...(smile) then I remembered you did say "joke" in your title (smile). That was funny!!!

    You are certainly the pile of smiles lady as every time I get over here I leave SMILING!

    I was off line for two weeks and just returned this week so I'm catching up with blogging friends. I pray that you and your family are doing well and had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I also wish for a beautiful Christmas for you and your family.

    Your LOAM is set to post after midnight tonight. I'm excited as I know it will bless MANY for Christ. I love you sister in Christ!~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather HartDecember 10, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    That was awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Janet RoseDecember 10, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    So funny! Stopping by from Friday Funnies today.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    Too funny!

    HELP! A BLOGGER NEEDS OUR HELP.

    JO
    LAZYONLOBLOLLY

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Lol!!! That's a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rachel ReneeDecember 10, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    That's so funny and perfect!! :) Have a great Friday!

    ReplyDelete
  8. DeborahDecember 10, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    lol thats a good one!
    Im smiling..from ear to ear!

    Deborah xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartDecember 10, 2010 at 3:08 PM

    I love that. I used that but with Thanksgiving as the holiday. LOL! It cracks me up. I need to remember that for when my kids are grown and gone. HA!

    Have a fabulous day my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  10. http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/December 10, 2010 at 5:26 PM

    HA!! Love that Mary!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    So funny!!!
    Blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  12. SharonDecember 11, 2010 at 11:43 PM

    Mary, this was so much fun! Both my grandmothers were born in Scotland, so my heart beats a little Scottish. Therefore, this lovely story really tickled my MacHeart!!

    Thanks for sharing.

    GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete
  13. lioneagleDecember 18, 2010 at 6:02 AM

    Hi Saleslady371 -

    Thank you...

    This is a hoot. Funny indeed

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We Have This Day

  A friend noticed Cowboy Church off of Dry Creek Road in West Sedona yesterday morning as he drove past and told me the parking lot was bulging with cars from everywhere.  "Something big was going on!  He said." "Yes I replied; I was there and I want to tell you all about what happened." I glanced over the highly attended sanctuary as the first speaker approached to speak.  He introduced himself as a pastor from the state of Washington but he was also my bestie's nephew.  His engaging  eulogy of the life of his cousin, Ashley, gripped me.  He helped all of us understand and trust God when we want to scream "She was so young.  What about her widower husband now who loved her with all his heart?  What about their two-year old boy who misses his mommy?"  There are days we just don't understand God's ways.  But I am at peace to know Ashley is finally pain free and lives in Paradise. I glanced at her mom, Maureen, my best friend now for...
7 comments
Read more

Spiritual Sundays ~ Wedding Anniversary

I remember when we sold one of our homes to a dancer who starred in one of the popular TV programs from the sixties. She decided to move to her Sedona property. She shared many things with me about Hollywood during each phase of the construction like when she dated Elvis. Personally, I’ve never been an Elvis fan, so I wasn’t impressed if he was a good kisser or not. The dancer married several times but now she found the dream man and now wanted the dream home. During one of her visits to my office, I was celebrating a wedding anniversary. I was taken aback when she asked me a personal question. What is the secret to a long- lasting marriage? I replied: “respect.” Ephesians 5:33 says” each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Women want to be loved and men want to be respected. Sounds simple right? Ask any married couple. It is not easy to do. Our 39th wedding anniversary is today! We are still working at this Biblical principle!...
40 comments
Read more

I'm Going as Abigail This Year

I vote for more purses, toothbrushes, cups, storybooks, and Halloween costumes that feature Abigail of the Old Testament.  She is a heroin worthy to emulate, in my opinion, even more than Cinderella. Once upon a time, there was a kind woman by the name of Abigail who lived with a surly man who liked to drink a lot and have parties.  One time, King David and his army were very hungry and entered the surly man’s homestead and asked if they could come to his barbecue.  The king had a right to ask because he and his men protected the homestead’s boundary lines.  The surly man said “No.  Get off my property.”  The King had a temper and became offended. Surly drunk + spiteful King = War In the meantime, Abigail heard about the situation and spent hours baking cinnamon rolls for the King and his army.  She dismounted from her horse and presented the King with her peace offering.  She bowed low and greeted the King and asked his forgi...
39 comments
Read more