My pastor started his Father’s Day Message last Sunday because he knew it would run for two weeks. He began his remarks with “rules that men have for their wives.” I think you will find these humorous:
1. Men are not mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
4. All men see in only 16 colors: like Windows Default Settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
6. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
7. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
10. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sundays which encourage us so much.
Oh this is too funny!
ReplyDeleteHave a blessed Sunday.
I like a preacher with a sense of humor. We're looking forward to hearing Dr. Tim Kimmell tomorrow morning. My daughter calls him a stand up comedian. He writes good books and is an excellent preacher too.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful Spiritual Sunday.
Charlotte
Don't you just love the commonalities among the male gender? It wouldn't be so funny were it not so true!
ReplyDeleteI like "round is a shape". I'm going to use that one myself!
Hugs,
Kathleen
I'll make sure to show these to my hubby. I'm sure he would agree with them. Thanks for the Sunday morning smile!
ReplyDeletePretty cute! Thanks for sharing today and have a wonderful Sunday.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Sandi
tooooooo cute
ReplyDeletelove ya, andrea
LOL Good one. I'd love to hear that message. Happy Sunday!
ReplyDeleteVery funny. I need a good laugh early in the morning. Now I need to go get ready for church.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely put a smile on my face this morning Mary! Thanks for sharing part of your pastor's message. My hubby remembers everything I've done and said when it suits him. I totally forget. But we do laugh about that.
ReplyDeleteGood morning Mary!
ReplyDeleteIsn't humor a great way of communicating? I think when we're smiling/laughing our souls just become more open and receptive to God's messages.
'Hope you're enjoying a great day! Your post has made mine better already!
LOL! That is too cute...and truthful! Thanks for my Sunday laugh!
ReplyDeleteSo cute! Men are men no matter where, right? Your pastor has a good sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
~Jean
Had a very busy night until the last minute that I was supposed to be done with my shift! It felt like I got beaten up...so thank you for sharing this, a time now for me to relax and have a little laugh. A little massage for my face as I smile, too. Happy Father's Day to your hubby and all our praise and worship to our Father Who deserves it! Happy Sunday sister! Blessings and love to you. I brought you some cookies! Told ya, we'll put our feet up on our favorite seats today! Chocolate chip okay? :)
ReplyDeleteThese are too funny, I like when we can laugh at church.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day,
Ginger
Too funny!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful Sunday!!!
God bless you!!!
XOXO
Cathy
funny and so very true!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kelly
It is good to have a sense of humor--the message today in church brought my husband down...he needs to read these thoughts. Love to you...robin
ReplyDeleteLOL! Love it!
ReplyDeleteI love that, Mary!!! Thank you for sharing! It all makes sense to me! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful, blessed Monday!
With God's Love,
Andrea
So Funny! I loved these!
ReplyDeleteHi Dear Friend,
ReplyDeleteThese are so funny LOL! I hope that you and your husband had a blessed Father's Day.
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I love you dear, sweet friend,
Alleluiabelle
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ReplyDeleteBey you heard a few groans from the women over this one LOL!
ReplyDeleteBrave man - That was too funny!
It sounds just like my hubby talking
Thanks for the giggle,
Kymber