My pastor started his Father’s Day Message last Sunday because he knew it would run for two weeks. He began his remarks with “rules that men have for their wives.” I think you will find these humorous:
1. Men are not mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
4. All men see in only 16 colors: like Windows Default Settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
6. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
7. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
10. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sundays which encourage us so much.