Skip to main content

Friday Funnies!




Happy Friday everybody! I'm linking up with Kim at Homesteader's Heart to add a little cheer to the world today. Here's my contribution:


A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ...


"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"


After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 1, 2011 at 7:01 AM

    I LOVE YOU!!! YOU always make me smile.
    Hugs and blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartApril 1, 2011 at 7:04 AM

    OH MY GOODNESS! That was hilarious.
    Thanks for the laugh my friend.
    Have an excellent weekend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather HartApril 1, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    That's horrible! Thanks so much for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  4. no spring chickenApril 1, 2011 at 8:28 AM

    Ha! Good one... :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. MikkiApril 1, 2011 at 8:37 AM

    Oh my goodness.. that was good..
    Stop by via the Friday FUnnies

    ReplyDelete
  6. PeggyApril 1, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Thanks for the laugh today.

    ReplyDelete
  7. http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/April 1, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    oh yikes Mary...

    I just posted my comment on your serious wonderful blog blow this. I'm so sorry... here it is in the appropriate place:


    Mary my friend...

    just trust me when I tell you that I NEEDED this hearty laugh today!!!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beth E.April 1, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    Hahaha! My hubby might agree with that on some days! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. RCUBEsApril 1, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    You always share the best! I need this sister and thank you! May you have a lovely weekend ahead, remaining strong in His mighty power! God bless and love you sister.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Lesson in the Middle

I wanted to dance when I heard the good news.  I don’t need surgery! When my doctor examined me last month, he suspected further care and sent me to a specialist in a city up north.  I had to wait only two weeks to get in to see him.  The specialist did not agree about surgery so I’m off the hook. I learned an important lesson about my faith journey in the middle of the two-week period of waiting for my appointment to see the specialist. I needed to be educated in medical knowledge and procedures so I could make a wise judgment for my future.  A friend suggested a support group with other women so I could glean info.  I joined.  I listened to their experiences and gained understanding.  I researched like crazy.  I became smart. I also became fearful and sometimes angry.  I screamed at Baby, our spirited cockatiel, to shut up when he screeched too much and I noticed my husband spent more time in his man cave. You kno...
25 comments
Read more

Mama's Lipstick

I always wished I could do things with my mom like shop in the mall, share makeup secrets or go to the movies and watch romantic comedies.  My wish never materialized.     My mama behaved like a tomboy.   She loved baseball and pitched with a strong right arm.   She could care less about the latest fashion or the latest movies featured on the big screen.   She never polished her fingernails.    One day after elementary school, I walked into the house to find my mom all dolled up in front of the bathroom mirror, foundation crème, powder, eyebrow pencil and rouge all over the counter sink.  “Who are you?” I asked, thrilled to see my mama putting on the Ritz.  Makeup in place and blotted, she immediately took it off.  “I don’t like the way it feels,” she exclaimed. She retired in Arizona and protected her dry lips with a light rose lipstick, the color of natural lips, a step above ChapStick.  She wore it a few tim...
55 comments
Read more

The Final Chapter

Are you like me when you join a new group of people? Do you navigate the crowd wondering where you fit in the best?  I felt insecure when I joined Word Weavers, a Christian writing group in our town.  Liz and Tony welcomed me with their accepting smiles.  It meant a lot. I sat with Liz in a small critique group one week.  I leaned in close so we could share a writer’s paper together.  She mentioned she would passively kick back and listen because she felt sick that day.  Tony kept his eye on her walking over with a plate of cookies and a hug for his wife.  But Liz did not eat. Last week, Liz passed away.  I attended the memorial service where I learned that Liz was a dreamer and fought for her dreams up to the very end!  Liz’s dream, her third book Jamie , came true.  The publisher approved her manuscript and moved heaven and earth to get the story printed in book form and delivered to Liz.  ...
50 comments
Read more