Skip to main content

Friday Funnies!




Happy Friday everybody! I'm linking up with Kim at Homesteader's Heart to add a little cheer to the world today. Here's my contribution:


A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ...


"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"


After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

Comments

  1. Grace on the Narrow PathApril 1, 2011 at 7:01 AM

    I LOVE YOU!!! YOU always make me smile.
    Hugs and blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartApril 1, 2011 at 7:04 AM

    OH MY GOODNESS! That was hilarious.
    Thanks for the laugh my friend.
    Have an excellent weekend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather HartApril 1, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    That's horrible! Thanks so much for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  4. no spring chickenApril 1, 2011 at 8:28 AM

    Ha! Good one... :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. MikkiApril 1, 2011 at 8:37 AM

    Oh my goodness.. that was good..
    Stop by via the Friday FUnnies

    ReplyDelete
  6. PeggyApril 1, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Thanks for the laugh today.

    ReplyDelete
  7. http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/April 1, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    oh yikes Mary...

    I just posted my comment on your serious wonderful blog blow this. I'm so sorry... here it is in the appropriate place:


    Mary my friend...

    just trust me when I tell you that I NEEDED this hearty laugh today!!!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beth E.April 1, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    Hahaha! My hubby might agree with that on some days! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. RCUBEsApril 1, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    You always share the best! I need this sister and thank you! May you have a lovely weekend ahead, remaining strong in His mighty power! God bless and love you sister.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review of Biblical Minimalism and Give Away

What does minimizing look like?  To the empty nester it may mean downsizing real estate.  To the co-dependent, it may mean pitching some toxic friendships they tend to collect.  I thought I had a handle on Biblical minimalism, but I wasn’t even close.  Biblical minimalism is much more than cleaning out a drawer and discarding unwanted things into a box to take to the thrift store. In her book, Biblical Minimalism, Cheryl E. Smith defines Biblical minimalism as “a complete, whole person release of anything unlike Jesus, a letting go of everything that hinders us from following Him wholeheartedly and single- mindedly , and a relinquishing of all that brings us under bondage to this earthly, very temporary life.” The author gives us a visual of a whole pie that is divided into eight slices.  Each slice describes our lives with areas to analyze to see if pruning or adjustment is needed.  I won’t name them all, but one example is the “emotional ...
9 comments
Read more

Mama's Lipstick

I always wished I could do things with my mom like shop in the mall, share makeup secrets or go to the movies and watch romantic comedies.  My wish never materialized.     My mama behaved like a tomboy.   She loved baseball and pitched with a strong right arm.   She could care less about the latest fashion or the latest movies featured on the big screen.   She never polished her fingernails.    One day after elementary school, I walked into the house to find my mom all dolled up in front of the bathroom mirror, foundation crème, powder, eyebrow pencil and rouge all over the counter sink.  “Who are you?” I asked, thrilled to see my mama putting on the Ritz.  Makeup in place and blotted, she immediately took it off.  “I don’t like the way it feels,” she exclaimed. She retired in Arizona and protected her dry lips with a light rose lipstick, the color of natural lips, a step above ChapStick.  She wore it a few tim...
55 comments
Read more

Abba's Lap

I noticed a behavior pattern in little Amy, twenty months old, that I want to imitate.  She moves fast engaging in one toddler activity after another spinning like a whirlwind from one room to another.  Yet, she pauses,  intermittently , long enough to get refreshed.   I want to be like this grandchild of mine because she knows where to go and how to get comforted. Amy moves at record speed, putting more miles on a pedometer in one hour than my accumulated weekly workouts at the gym.  She can build a skyscraper so tall, I wonder why those bright pink Lego’s don’t topple to the ground as she continues to stack just one more piece on top. I learned never to leave the room to get another cup of coffee.  Once, when I returned, I found her climbing past the couch with hands and feet reaching for the living room drapes. She has a consistent habit that I admire.  In the midst of her activities, as she moves robustly from one play...
51 comments
Read more