Skip to main content

Friday Funnies


A Beary Humorous Tale

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment: they would go into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they’re all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. “Well,” he says, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and Holy Mary, Mother of God! He became as gentle as a lamb. This bishop is coming next week to give him first communion and confirmation.”

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an IV drip. In this best fire and brimstone oratory, he exclaimed: “Well, brothers, you know that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s Holy Word! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, up another and down another until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.”

Both of them looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV’s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says: “Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”
For more humor, go to Friday Funnies!

Comments

  1. Yup! That is too funny!!! Thanks for spreading some smiles today!
    Happy Friday to you!
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  2. I got a great chukle out of this one.

    June

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, that is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL! Too funny! Thanks for sharing!

    Have a great Friday!
    Sherry

    ReplyDelete
  5. My mouth was hanging open at the end of this one. wow. Poor Rabbi and bear.
    I really enjoyed this though.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Daisy House

I work at my desktop with the children at my feet.  A makeshift area rug made of white butcher paper lines the floor where the baby, crayon in hand, imitates her big sister.  Sister focuses on the finishing touches of the house she designed.  The catchy children’s song, Wheels of the Bus, blasts from the Toddler Station on Pandora Radio. Six year old Sookie unveils her masterpiece and I ooh and awe at the sketch.  “It’s a daisy house!”  I exclaim.  “I love the colors.  I wonder what the inside looks like.”  Without hesitating, Sookie describes each room.  “There are five rooms and they are all different colors.  One is Mint Chip, another Strawberry.  There is a Vanilla room, and a Cookies & Cream room and the last room is Rocky Road.  You have to wear a sweater inside because it is very cold.” “A house made of ice cream,” I reply.  “It sounds heavenly!” I dug into my Bible readings that morning ...

Marriage Tip #44: Do What He Wants

I thought about our upcoming anniversary.   I prayed one morning for the marriages in my family, and a sentence about my own dropped in my spirit:  “ Do What He Wants .”  I paused, “Really?”  He’s his own man.  What if I end up in the wilderness camping by night and target shooting by day?  What if a coyote decides to have me as a late night snack? We celebrated our anniversary early this year, Before the kids come next week.   And we did it his way . This is how it happened. I never asked him about a plan or even mentioned our day.  I remember how it all unfolded at the roundabout just as we drove into Sedona.  He asked me if I would like to go to a baseball game.  I responded excitedly, “Yeah!”  Before the day was over, he purchased tickets for a Diamondbacks home game. He printed them out.  He booked a hotel room so we wouldn’t have to drive home from the city after the late evening game. ...

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...