Sunday, September 27, 2015

The Saga of Perfectionism






I’m learning that love trumps my idealistic expectations.  Being perfect is a myth.  God continues to chip away at this antagonist and He’s using Renie to do it. 

We turned Renie’s expansive kitchen into a salon the afternoon we decided to color each other’s hair.  The teen daughter got into the act and set up all her nail supplies on the kitchen table with choices of bright colors and designs.

I am going to market this!
I wondered how to section Renie’s long curly locks and asked:  “Renie, how am I going to color your roots?”  She hunted in drawers until she found two clothespins to suffice.  Funny thing is, they worked! 


I relaxed when her daughter soaked my hands in warm sudsy water and I closed my eyes.  I should have kept them closed.  Renie especially should have kept hers closed when her grown up baby girl knocked over the polish remover spilling Acetone all over the table.   I sigh and think to myself: “I’m glad we’re doing this in her kitchen and not mine!”


Someday I’m going to make it big.  I will spend my time in salons being pampered by licensed professionals where classy music plays softly in the background and they serve you glass goblets filled with water and sliced lemons atop.  I’ll have lots of money and leave big tips.   For now, though, I have some lessons to learn here in Hicksville.

Until that day

I remind myself that I’m affirmed, supported and validated just as I am.   Thanks to Jesus I don’t have to strive for perfection.  I can laugh at myself.  And I can laugh at life!

Mistakes and messes…I can adjust.  I’m getting there slowly.  Very slowly.  Oh, so slowly.

Going on a Date
We dressed to go out on the town and I fanned my fingers showing the cute guy my bright nails with the classy doodads.  He said:  “You are going to take all that off, right?”   Why did he say that to me, his chic date?


Better yet, why did I remove it all?


Maybe a little perfectionism is still okay

How are you at rolling with the punches?  Does it disturb you when things get out of control?


36 comments:

  1. Great post and insight here! I sometimes am able to roll with the punches and sometimes I have trouble handling things, but the times where I have trouble, I try to remind myself that God is in control, and that He knows what is happening, and cares, and knows what is best for me.

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    1. It really does help to remember that God is in control when we're not. That's good, Linda.

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  2. Oooh, but I suspect those fancy-schmancy salons would probably frown on giggling. Wasn't there lots of that going on in Remie's kitchen? Lucky lady!

    Me? I usually get this idea in my head this (or that) is the way things are supposed to be, and when it doesn't happen that way I'm out of sorts. 'Have to remember one of my son's fav sayings, "Embrace the chaos."

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    1. I hope this coming week is free of Chaos, dear friend. I doubt that I would giggle as much in a fancy salon like when I'm with Renie. She is my I love Lucy crazy friend for sure.

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  3. This got me chuckling out loud Mary. I like to think of myself as laid back and flexible. The reality 'in the kitchen' always seems to tell a different story... slowly, like you said, very slowly, I am learning.(I hope!) :)

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    1. Sometimes I think we're twins, Sonja.
      Hugs to you sister!

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  4. you always make me smile, love you

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  5. Perspectives do change as each day passes by...I love the quote you shared from Rachel Zoe because it is true. I'm a clean freak that I have always joked around my boys that when they're eating at my diner (kitchen), they should be careful in making messes. Well, as the aging process are making me think of what matters the most, funny how it is in those messes my family and I find warm, loving moments and always start a huge laughter.

    Boy! What a special converted salon (sans the Acetone smell) you all enjoyed. That was creative! And courageous :) for this neat freak.

    You always make me laugh. But in the end, it is your love for the Lord that shines...Wow...Guess a little perfectionism doesn't hurt sometimes. LOL.

    God bless sister and be strong in the Lord's mighty power. I think He is telling us about self-control and reminding us of His power that lives in us. ;)

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    1. Yesterday's sermon was about harmony and how expectations of others can destroy it; nobody is perfect. It's more important to love than expect perfection! As much as I love a clean, sleek kitchen, Rosel, mine never is! Loving hugs, sister.

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  6. I like that you took it off, but I'm sure you had a great time together with your friend getting "all fancied up."

    betty

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    1. He was right to suggest I take off the polish; it really was sloppy. But it was fun for her to have someone to practice on! A good memory and a funny one for sure!
      Loving hugs, Betty!

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  7. Hi Mary!!!
    Sounds like such a fun day!
    Isnt it heartwarming to know that He loves us..even in our weakness? :)
    Such a blessing to come here and visit...I always leave here with "piles of smiles" from the love you share.
    xoxoxoxo
    All my heart,
    Deborah

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    1. Smiling because you were blessed, beautiful sister.

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  8. I have come a long way. Used to get worked up when things went out of control. But I have learnt to be more gracious and more relaxed, learning to close an eye too. Enjoying the grace of God with others and having more fun!

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    1. So good to look back on our progress, Nancy, and enjoy God's grace! Beautifully said.

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  9. That was a beautiful day for you Mary.. When things got out of control my first reaction is frustration but then again, i would realize that God holds everything, so i guess, i always end up leaning on to God alone.

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    1. That's not a bad place to be, brother, leaning on only God! Thanks for visiting me!

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  10. Ah, what an encouraging post, Mary. I love your heart... the words you wrote here just reminds me of a journey I was on many years ago... the journey of letting go of "being perfect" and arriving at "being good enough." What a freeing thing it was for me (and my family)... it's an ongoing journey too. And mostly, we need to strike the Godly balance between knowing when to strive for excellence In His power, and when it's okay to leave the mess as it is for a more important mission... Have a great day ahead of you, dearest friend.

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    1. It is an ongoing journey, Lidia, when you're wired a certain way. Each new day births freedom! Love & hugs to you!

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  11. As usual, you grabbed and shared clearly and drew people into your thoughtfulness and your heartfulness. Thank you. You, as usual, as a treat.

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    1. Awwe, very sweet comment and I thank you!

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  12. Oh Mary, you just make me smile! No, I am not good at rolling with the punches. Most of the time, the punches hit me square in the jaw and knock me for a loop! I am very disturbed when I feel out of control. In fact, I keep asking the Lord if I can help Him run the world, or at least my world - He keeps saying no. LOL...

    Perfectionism is a tough trait to conquer - but a wise friend of mine once said, "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good." Yes, sometimes letting go of perfect and letting God do HIS good is the very best thing possible!

    GOD BLESS!

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    1. I agree, Sharon, letting God to His good and letting go...great advice!

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  13. Oh I enjoyed this post so much. I have always been one that could roll with the punches but have found myself as I get older that I seem to become more overwhelmed when things don't go quite like I think they should or want then too. I have always been a planner but also one that had plan b, c, and d ready too! I guess I should say that I am still a work in progress. LOL! Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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    1. So good to know I'm not the only work in progress out there! Big hugs to you, Cindy!

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  14. Hi Mary! Oh yes, I'm a huge perfectionist, and what a burden that is! I have only recently been trying to be less 'up tight' about things that don't go the way I think they should. It's going to be a long road for me.
    I can usually roll with the punches as long as I didn't set them up myself! I can't impact what others will do, so at least I'm not trying to straighten that out too :)

    I bet your nails looked amazing!
    Ceil

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    1. Great insight, Ceil, about the punches we set up ourselves. I would have to agree with that one!

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  15. I'm a perfectionist too... big surprise at all the type "A's" that like to control things and write a bit!

    I'm beginning to roll with the flow better than I used to... it's just taken a heap of grief allowed by God, but mostly caused by me.

    I find it harder to roll with the punches when they come from loved ones... and visa versa. Keep pushing for your dreams and leave the perfection to the only One who has it! And thanks for that reminder for myself.

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    1. Leaving perfection to the only One who has it and can handle it! Amen, brother.

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  16. Hi Mary, I couldn't help but smile. You find lessons in life stories and make them so beautiful. Thank you.
    Perfection is an impossible word. God fills us up and make us complete.
    Lovely thoughts here.
    Blessings to you Mary.

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    1. He alone makes us complete! Love your thoughts, Ifeoma!

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  17. Great story turned into a wonderful lesson. I love that you spent time with your loved ones doing nails and hair. What a blessing. Thanks for visiting too.;)

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    1. I appreciate the connection, too, Mary!

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  18. Your girls salon was fun for all even the spill, cause it could be wiped up and made new.
    "You are going to take that off - - right?" Oh that is exactly what Robert would say to me. He did not want me to wear lipstick, cause he did not want to kiss me if it was on. So - no lipstick for me. What a delightful story. Thanks for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story.

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    1. That's right, Hazel, it's only a spill; love is greater. Love your lipstick story too!

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