Not Always Hearts and Flowers

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

I realize that this is not a cutesy Mother’s Day post.  I do think all moms deserve honor on this day.  But what about women, like my oldest daughter, who are not moms and dislike the painful reminder of Mother’s Day altogether?  How about women who lost a child like my girlfriend, Renie?

It is two years ago this week that I got a stream of calls telling me the dreadful news.  There was an accident.  Devastation hit a strong, Christian family right between the eyes.  They are pillars in our community and well liked.  Their nine year old died.  “Can you pray?” caller after caller repeats, chiseling my prayer assignment out for me not only for that morning, but for the days to come.  I prayed for months for this family whom I never met.

Here is the story of how God weaved our lives together. 

We all meet in a barn for our road association meetings here in Dodge.  I asked the neighbor sitting next to me:  "Who is that new couple across the room from us?"   I learned these are the parents I am connected to in my prayer closet!  They relocated after the accident and find solace in the quiet of our remote community.   After the meeting, I introduced myself and sympathized with their loss.  Renie hugged me and we cried.  Her husband asked me if we could come to dinner on Saturday night. 

Our God-ordained friendship has been a gift for both of us.

It is so much more than motherhood that connects Renie and me.  We are sisters in Christ.  Twice a week in the park, we work out and pray together.  We share recipes, books we’re reading; we storm the heavens for our husbands, kids, friends as well as our weekly schedules.  We’ve hit a yard sale or two on our way home for fun!

Some Days are Hard; Why Did God Allow My Girl to Die?
I am her biggest cheerleader for not hiding under the covers.  Jesus makes His Presence known profoundly on the hard days.  His comfort trumps any words I might say and sometimes, just listening or crying together is healing balm.  Jesus is so close to us.  I touch her arm, but I feel Him.

We also laugh a lot too!  She responds well to my stories about marriage, my kiddos, church stuff and travels and I’m super-charged.  She will giggle and say:   Now write about this one on your blog!  It will help someone.”  And I realize it’s helping her and I’m a conduit for some relief.

I love Renie’s heart to serve Jesus and the way she reaches out to others despite her own pain.  I love the way I feel when we pray together even when I’m convicted and humbled by her sincere words.  Prayers spoken by the broken are powerful.

I sincerely wish a Happy Mother’s Day to you hard-working mommies.  And to you loving mothers who raised yours, you deserve to be cheered and recognized.

To you women who find Mother’s Day difficult, you are loved.   You matter.  You are understood.  May the Lord wipe away your every tear.


  1. I am thankful that God put you and Renie together like he did; I too am sorry for her and her family's loss. What a wonderful mentor you are to her as well as a friend.

    I was thinking of writing a Mother's Day post, not sure if I will but it is a hard day for a lot of women as well as a joyful day for a lot of women. Having struggled with infertility in years past, I HATED Mother's Day and rejoiced when I was finally a mother through adoption, but a mother nonetheless. A friend is facing her first Mother's Day without her mom who died back in February; I remember that first one too without my mom. I am glad God wipes away and stores our tears, because I know a lot will be shed between now and Mother's Day and in the days ahead afterwards.

    Beautifully written!


  2. What a precious and thought provoking post this morning. I know that God placed the two of you together for a reason and what a blessing I am sure you are both to each other. Sometimes we do forget the hurt of other moms though we do not mean too. Thanking God for how He provides for us always. Happy Monday. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

  3. Your story of how God put you together is awesome. Isn't it great how oftentimes we think we are capable of teaching, helping, praying for others, only to realize that we are also learning, being helped and what powerful petitions from honest and faith-filled, tried and true friendships!!! Your post rings so true! And as I wish you a Happy Mother's Day sister Mary, I'm joining you with your prayers to pray for those who are hurting. God bless.

  4. I just read another post like this earlier today. As with any holiday it can bring up pain and wounds for some. Two of my best friends both lost their moms in their twenties so Mother's day can definitely be a trigger. It's so great when God brings two people together like that for healing and community.

  5. You would be anyone's blessing to meet and befriend. So wonderful that God put both of you together!!

  6. Even through this tragedy God brings love and comfort in the form of your new friendship. Thanks for sharing this encouraging God story! I love that He cares about all of us so tenderly.

  7. So touching story. Both joy and sadness. God has always a reason for everything. We don't understand why things happen. But it is good to cherish happy memories. By the way, you are a blessi g and an inspiration.
    Happy mother's day!

  8. I've seen quite a few posts about hurting mother's on this Mother's Day. What an important thing to remember and how blessed you and your friend are to have each other!

  9. Yeah. This touched my heart too. What a gift you have with your friend… and our Father is honored in the process.

    "Prayers spoken by the broken are powerful." Amen, Mary. The most difficult times seem to so much for us spiritually. I'm praying for your friend and all women who are indeed special to our Father.

  10. Our entire town is grieving over a head on auto accident that took the life of one teen ager and left another in serious condition, so I can understand the loss suffered. It is amazing how God located them in your area after you spent months praying for them. Thank you for sharing at Tell me a Story.

  11. This is such a lovely post! You have touched my heart, thank you so much for sharing.

  12. Beautiful. You've hit the high-water mark again, my friend.
    When you wrote, "I touch her arm, but I feel Him", the most delicious chill just ran up my spine.

    Knowing the sadness that's bound to come, I'm trying to smile at the thought (that) my mother's celebrating Mother's Day with HER own momma.

  13. That was such a really lovely post. Dear Renie, what a testimony. I loved what you said about the prayers of broken people. So true.

    May God bless all women this coming Mother's Day - mommies, and those without children. God loves each and every one of us...deeply, and forever.


  14. I love so much about this post! First of all, Mary you are such a kind and encouraging person. And I know you are a prayer warrior. You are also a good friend.

    I also love how your friend allowed you to share her story of such profound loss to help others. I do believe the Lord wants us to share our stories. After all, as Christians we do go through many difficult struggles.

    As you know I struggled with infertility for years and was unable to have children. But God has blessed me with a school full of children through circumstances I wouldn't have chosen for myself. Yet He knows in His wisdom what is best for us and He gives us comfort. Praise Him for that.

    Love you Mary,

  15. What a sweet reminder that we can be used by God in unexpected ways--it just takes a willing heart. I'm so glad God has placed you in the right spot at the right time! Thanks for linking up at Inspire Me Monday :) (a hostess and fellow Arizonian).

  16. Hi Mary! I know you are such a light to your friend. I wonder if she thinks she was called to your town just to meet you? God is such a caring Father!

    It does take nerve to jump out of yourself and extend your hand and heart to someone else. I wonder if I just would have said to myself "She moved here for quiet. I should just let her be." But you were so right! They were aching for friendship.
    Strong evidence for reaching out. You never know what a healer you can be...

  17. As usual you did a wonderful way of sharing and speaking and opening hearts of love. Thank you so much. I'm never surprised to see and/or hear how you are sharing the love of God and the love of people to each other. Again, thank you so much!

  18. Such a beautiful post. Mother's Day can be hard for so many. God loves all women.He provides for us by using others, like you. You are such a good friend. Blessings

  19. Nice to see another blog that's inspired by God. :) May you have a memorable mothers day! Happy mother's day from me! steve of artistic world! :) Hope to know you more.

  20. I hope to be a mother one day. However what makes Mothers Day painful for me is being a motherless daughter. Thank you for this beautiful post, it really blessed me.

  21. Beautiful account. My first mother's day was in 2012, less than 2 months after a miscarriage. Everyone wanted to honor me on Mother's Day, but they couldn't really say "Happy" Mothers Day. I ached for the loss of our baby, but God has since healed my heart.

    Lovely post-- God is great in the way He works!

  22. Wow ! Thank God you were there for her. True life stories of people and their experiences and how God heals our hearts are beautiful.
    God bless for sharing this beautiful story of friendship and encouragement.

  23. Wow ! Thank God you were there for her. True life stories of people and their experiences and how God heals our hearts are beautiful.
    God bless for sharing this beautiful story of friendship and encouragement.

  24. What a divine appointment and gift from the Lord your friendship is. Not only to yourselves but to others as you shared this post! 'Tis a blessing you are! :)

  25. This was a beautiful, caring post. I am so glad you included the women who long to be mothers. I am STILL praying regularly for your daughter and asking God to send her a baby of her own. He is able to do all things, and we are living testimonies of His power. As you may remember, we struggled for many years with infertility and were given little to no hope from doctors' perspective. But, GOD, in His infinite mercy and power sent us the sweetest son after our waiting for 12.5 years. He is a miracle, in every sense of the word. To GOD be all the glory! I am trusting God to do the same for your daughter, Amy. Will keep praying!

  26. Perfect! Such a sweet remembrance for those that find Mother's Day more painful than joyful.


  27. Aw. This is so touching and heart wrenching I say.

    I think Mother's Day is also a reminder that all of us, even men are capable of loving others more than we could love ourselves, with or without a child. Mother's day should be for everyone who can love like a mother.

    I think that's another way to look at it.

    Well, happy mother's day to you still. And to all women with such big love to offer.


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