Skip to main content

Friday Funnies!

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particulary dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked "If I give you this money, will you go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked. "No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked. "Are you nuts!" replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years.

"Well, I am not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out to dinner with my husband and me tonight." The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know that I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It is important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, and hair appointments.




Kim features more humor at Friday Funnies! Have a great day.

Comments

  1. Oh Mary! THAT is funny! I need to remember that one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh I love that joke but the picture is what finishes is off with a bang! LOL!
    Happy Friday my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Mary !! I always LOVE your FF!! Happy Friday my dear friend!!
    Love you

    ReplyDelete
  4. My goodness . . . my goodness . . . what am I going to do with you?
    You know I need prayer today and a good laugh!!! Thank you my friend.
    Please pray for me too. I sense spirtual warfare near me.
    Blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  5. Woo Hoo, that is so funny, lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMGoodness, that is hilarious!! Will definitely be showing my sweet hubby so that never crosses his mind!!

    Love and Blessings to you my friend!!

    I am having a giveaway, posted yesterday!! Come by and sign up if you get a chance!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, toooo funny! I'm going to show Duller this when he gets home. Oh, wait, I gave up shopping and hair appointments years ago... HEY, that's my picture! LOLOL!

    Love ya loads, sweet thang!
    Have a JESUS-filled day! ^i^

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gotta' share this with my DH, too! LOL...I'm glad there's no one around me to hear I'm cracking up right now. I must have looked crazy from outside the window though to those who'll see me. God bless sister. Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  9. hi mary. got here from denise's site. thank you for your prayers for lanie and her family. it is very much appreciated. it is so unfortunate that things like this happen, but they do. things are done differently here in the philippines. even i was furious when i learned about it. but i know our God is a great God and He will make a way.

    thank you for praying. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL Or leaving the house a mess when they think we do nothing all day.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review of Biblical Minimalism and Give Away

What does minimizing look like?  To the empty nester it may mean downsizing real estate.  To the co-dependent, it may mean pitching some toxic friendships they tend to collect.  I thought I had a handle on Biblical minimalism, but I wasn’t even close.  Biblical minimalism is much more than cleaning out a drawer and discarding unwanted things into a box to take to the thrift store. In her book, Biblical Minimalism, Cheryl E. Smith defines Biblical minimalism as “a complete, whole person release of anything unlike Jesus, a letting go of everything that hinders us from following Him wholeheartedly and single- mindedly , and a relinquishing of all that brings us under bondage to this earthly, very temporary life.” The author gives us a visual of a whole pie that is divided into eight slices.  Each slice describes our lives with areas to analyze to see if pruning or adjustment is needed.  I won’t name them all, but one example is the “emotional ...

Mama's Lipstick

I always wished I could do things with my mom like shop in the mall, share makeup secrets or go to the movies and watch romantic comedies.  My wish never materialized.     My mama behaved like a tomboy.   She loved baseball and pitched with a strong right arm.   She could care less about the latest fashion or the latest movies featured on the big screen.   She never polished her fingernails.    One day after elementary school, I walked into the house to find my mom all dolled up in front of the bathroom mirror, foundation crème, powder, eyebrow pencil and rouge all over the counter sink.  “Who are you?” I asked, thrilled to see my mama putting on the Ritz.  Makeup in place and blotted, she immediately took it off.  “I don’t like the way it feels,” she exclaimed. She retired in Arizona and protected her dry lips with a light rose lipstick, the color of natural lips, a step above ChapStick.  She wore it a few tim...

God Created Me!

Today is not only the last day of January, it’s my birthday.  You’re invited to my party!  I’ve got cake, ice cream, presents, and some inspiration about getting older!  Join me for some smiles. “Old people should not eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get!” Robert Orben “As a graduate of Zsa Zsa Gabor School of  Mathematics , I honestly do not know how old I am.” Erma Bombeck Why did Mattel choose “curvy” Barbie to hit the shelves today, on my birthday? Sookie designed a birthday card depicting me in blue skies, with the sun shining.  I look like I’m singing and the grass is very green, just sayin’. Leave it to kids to boost our self esteem.  Hope my granddaughter will always think I’m budafull.  The family party filled my love tank to full.  They chose my favorite: white cake with white frosting!  I know, b.o.r.i.n.g.  It’s what I like; correct me if I’m wro...