When Self Pity Joined Us for Dinner
Graphics and quotes tickle me on the inside when they instruct us to let go of all bad feelings we harbor and carry on like they're not there. I like the Polish proverb that says: "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"
I never find it easy to shrug off those negative feelings whether it is my own drama or another's regardless of those cute memes and their powerful messages. Honestly, I struggle.
When I felt like a target.I looked forward to a friend's invitation for my husband and I to join her for dinner in a fancy part of town. I dressed for the dinner date carefully choosing the best outfit in my closet with just the right shoes. Tom and I can't afford to dine in this kind of exquisite fashion and I imagined a wonderful experience.
Except, it wasn't!
Oh, the ambiance and wait staff impressed us. I resisted the temptation to photograph my fancy dinner plate less they think I'm a classy chick who never gets a chance to go out like this.
Our friend seemed on edge from the beginning. I felt uncomfortable like walking on eggshells. We asked enough questions to analyze her negative mood and to help her climb out of the pit. Her emotions were not clear to her either.
Honesty leads to victory.Stuffing feelings down leads to anger and it doesn't stay stuffed. It pops up in surprising ways. In my friend's case, she opened a door to self pity that day and those distasteful spirits came to our dinner and tried to ruin it.
Tom and I decided not to take it personally. However, our hearts weighed heavy on the drive home. He broke the silence with a question. Hey, do you want to go to the gym with me early tomorrow morning and then go out for breakfast?"
Sometimes, he says just the right thing. I gave the man a high five. We invited our friend to join us the next morning and after we all worked out together, we took her to our favorite greasy spoon diner that caters to the locals. The owner comes around to every patron with a pot of coffee in each hand and makes delightful conversation. You can get an egg burrito special there for $4.99! We always bump into neighbors, friends or people from church. It reminds me of a big dining room where invisible parents wait for you to come in so they can hug you and feed you.
"Better a small serving of vegetables with love
than a fattened calf with hatred." Proverbs 15:17
I like the graphic that reminds me that it is my responsibility to chase after my own happiness. When you personally know the Giver of happy, it's a cake walk.