Skip to main content

Friday Funnies ~ A Conversation in Heaven


 
SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.

Comments

  1. Debbie PetrasJune 29, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    I love your sense of humor Mary! You gave me a chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MartiJune 29, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    Too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. DeniseJune 29, 2012 at 8:39 PM

    Funny, lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mevely317June 29, 2012 at 8:42 PM

    Uh-oh ... I can actually "see" this conversation happening ... lol!
    BTW, I love your new profile pix :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. RCUBEsJune 29, 2012 at 10:17 PM

    Jokes like the ones you share take my mind off of things from work, yeah, like those stressful situations...

    Thank you sister Mary for the laugh and the prayers always...I'd say at least they both found "rest" up there.

    God bless and protect you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartJune 30, 2012 at 4:27 AM

    LOL!!! Oh that's funny.
    Have a great weekend my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJune 30, 2012 at 7:23 AM

    So funny!!! May I share this? Thank you for the hearty laugh!!!
    Blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  8. FloydJune 30, 2012 at 8:10 AM

    That was hilarious! I'm not much of a joke teller, but I'll try to remember this one!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nikki (Sarah)July 1, 2012 at 3:00 AM

    ouch!! Hope you're having a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kathleen July 4, 2012 at 7:06 PM

    Don't you ever wonder who thinks all these hysterical jokes up? Thank God for humor!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Diane RonzinoJuly 5, 2012 at 5:19 AM

    oh, my gosh! That was funny. Thanks, Mary!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...
24 comments
Read more

Abba's Lap

I noticed a behavior pattern in little Amy, twenty months old, that I want to imitate.  She moves fast engaging in one toddler activity after another spinning like a whirlwind from one room to another.  Yet, she pauses,  intermittently , long enough to get refreshed.   I want to be like this grandchild of mine because she knows where to go and how to get comforted. Amy moves at record speed, putting more miles on a pedometer in one hour than my accumulated weekly workouts at the gym.  She can build a skyscraper so tall, I wonder why those bright pink Lego’s don’t topple to the ground as she continues to stack just one more piece on top. I learned never to leave the room to get another cup of coffee.  Once, when I returned, I found her climbing past the couch with hands and feet reaching for the living room drapes. She has a consistent habit that I admire.  In the midst of her activities, as she moves robustly from one play...
51 comments
Read more

I'm Going as Abigail This Year

I vote for more purses, toothbrushes, cups, storybooks, and Halloween costumes that feature Abigail of the Old Testament.  She is a heroin worthy to emulate, in my opinion, even more than Cinderella. Once upon a time, there was a kind woman by the name of Abigail who lived with a surly man who liked to drink a lot and have parties.  One time, King David and his army were very hungry and entered the surly man’s homestead and asked if they could come to his barbecue.  The king had a right to ask because he and his men protected the homestead’s boundary lines.  The surly man said “No.  Get off my property.”  The King had a temper and became offended. Surly drunk + spiteful King = War In the meantime, Abigail heard about the situation and spent hours baking cinnamon rolls for the King and his army.  She dismounted from her horse and presented the King with her peace offering.  She bowed low and greeted the King and asked his forgi...
39 comments
Read more