Skip to main content

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000; Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!
Kim at Homesteader's Heart is the host of Friday Funnies!

Comments

  1. Joyful in His PresenceJanuary 21, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Cute! I was out in the kitchen a little while ago making a raisin pie for my father-in-law and was thinking about you! Was in need of your Friday smiles! ;)

    hugs to you, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heather HartJanuary 21, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    This is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MindyJanuary 21, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    This is too cute and way, way, way too accurate.

    You forgot about the part where a man can wear the same shirt as another man to an event and there is no rivalry, they become best friends!

    thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartJanuary 21, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Oh my goodness! This was so funny. Very thought provoking. LOL! It does make sense now. Ha! Ha!
    Have a wonderful weekend my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  5. http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/January 21, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    Hilarious! And how true! Also, when men get sick... everyone waits on them and pampers them!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. RCUBEsJanuary 21, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    Hmmm. No wonder I am looking way older than my hubby! I'm 90. He's early 40's...

    Have a great weekend sister Mary and thank you for the laugh!!! Love to you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kelly LJanuary 21, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    So true.... Funny post..

    Love to you
    Kelly
    I've Become My Mother

    ReplyDelete
  8. Susan BJanuary 21, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    This made me laugh out loud! Too cute...thank you for sharing it. Have a fabulous weekend. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. LorenJanuary 21, 2011 at 9:30 PM

    Oh gosh! this is so funny! Jen and I sit here in a room full of men and YES....these are all sooo true!

    Happy Friday Mary! Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. lioneagleJanuary 22, 2011 at 5:34 AM

    Hi Saleslady371 -

    Thank you

    This was a hoot!

    ReplyDelete
  11. PamelaJanuary 22, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    Ha! Oh so true. I read on your sidebar that you were on a journey to keep rejoicing at all times. A worthy journey to be sure. It's amazing how our attitude changes when we're rejoicing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. christy roseJanuary 22, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    OH my!! All so true!! LOL :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    This is great!!! It's so funny because it's so true.
    Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Beth E.January 23, 2011 at 8:32 PM

    Hahaha...soooo true! They have it made! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Kathleen January 24, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    I love your new header! What a pile of smiles!!!

    I also appreciate the "man humor". They are such easy targets.

    Love,
    Kathleen

    ReplyDelete
  16. Joyful in His PresenceJanuary 25, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    Just wanted to let you know that I've mentioned you in my blog today (Jan. 25). ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Deborah AnnJanuary 25, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    Haha! Mary, did you make that up? It's just hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Joyful in His PresenceJanuary 25, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    WOW, are you ever going to be missing having your family around after everyone being together for such a great visit! I am going to be praying for you, my friend.

    Hugs to you,
    Dianna

    ReplyDelete
  19. SharonJanuary 25, 2011 at 6:04 PM

    Simple creatures, yes - but aren't they rather refreshing at times (when they're not annoying!!)

    One other thing - when they go out, "everything" they need fits into one wallet and/or pocket. Don't need to tell you about the "bottomless pit" that my purse is!!

    Thanks for the chuckle - GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete
  20. JackieJanuary 26, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Hilarious and soooo true!!

    Love your new header.... : ))))

    Hugs!
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review of Biblical Minimalism and Give Away

What does minimizing look like?  To the empty nester it may mean downsizing real estate.  To the co-dependent, it may mean pitching some toxic friendships they tend to collect.  I thought I had a handle on Biblical minimalism, but I wasn’t even close.  Biblical minimalism is much more than cleaning out a drawer and discarding unwanted things into a box to take to the thrift store. In her book, Biblical Minimalism, Cheryl E. Smith defines Biblical minimalism as “a complete, whole person release of anything unlike Jesus, a letting go of everything that hinders us from following Him wholeheartedly and single- mindedly , and a relinquishing of all that brings us under bondage to this earthly, very temporary life.” The author gives us a visual of a whole pie that is divided into eight slices.  Each slice describes our lives with areas to analyze to see if pruning or adjustment is needed.  I won’t name them all, but one example is the “emotional ...
9 comments
Read more

Mama's Lipstick

I always wished I could do things with my mom like shop in the mall, share makeup secrets or go to the movies and watch romantic comedies.  My wish never materialized.     My mama behaved like a tomboy.   She loved baseball and pitched with a strong right arm.   She could care less about the latest fashion or the latest movies featured on the big screen.   She never polished her fingernails.    One day after elementary school, I walked into the house to find my mom all dolled up in front of the bathroom mirror, foundation crème, powder, eyebrow pencil and rouge all over the counter sink.  “Who are you?” I asked, thrilled to see my mama putting on the Ritz.  Makeup in place and blotted, she immediately took it off.  “I don’t like the way it feels,” she exclaimed. She retired in Arizona and protected her dry lips with a light rose lipstick, the color of natural lips, a step above ChapStick.  She wore it a few tim...
55 comments
Read more

God Created Me!

Today is not only the last day of January, it’s my birthday.  You’re invited to my party!  I’ve got cake, ice cream, presents, and some inspiration about getting older!  Join me for some smiles. “Old people should not eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get!” Robert Orben “As a graduate of Zsa Zsa Gabor School of  Mathematics , I honestly do not know how old I am.” Erma Bombeck Why did Mattel choose “curvy” Barbie to hit the shelves today, on my birthday? Sookie designed a birthday card depicting me in blue skies, with the sun shining.  I look like I’m singing and the grass is very green, just sayin’. Leave it to kids to boost our self esteem.  Hope my granddaughter will always think I’m budafull.  The family party filled my love tank to full.  They chose my favorite: white cake with white frosting!  I know, b.o.r.i.n.g.  It’s what I like; correct me if I’m wro...
39 comments
Read more