WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000; Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!
Kim at Homesteader's Heart is the host of Friday Funnies!

Comments

  1. Cute! I was out in the kitchen a little while ago making a raisin pie for my father-in-law and was thinking about you! Was in need of your Friday smiles! ;)

    hugs to you, my friend.

    ReplyDelete

  3. This is too cute and way, way, way too accurate.

    You forgot about the part where a man can wear the same shirt as another man to an event and there is no rivalry, they become best friends!

    thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete

  4. Oh my goodness! This was so funny. Very thought provoking. LOL! It does make sense now. Ha! Ha!
    Have a wonderful weekend my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete

  5. Hilarious! And how true! Also, when men get sick... everyone waits on them and pampers them!! :)

    ReplyDelete

  6. Hmmm. No wonder I am looking way older than my hubby! I'm 90. He's early 40's...

    Have a great weekend sister Mary and thank you for the laugh!!! Love to you!

    ReplyDelete

  8. This made me laugh out loud! Too cute...thank you for sharing it. Have a fabulous weekend. :)

    ReplyDelete

  9. Oh gosh! this is so funny! Jen and I sit here in a room full of men and YES....these are all sooo true!

    Happy Friday Mary! Love you!

    ReplyDelete

  10. Hi Saleslady371 -

    Thank you

    This was a hoot!

    ReplyDelete

  11. Ha! Oh so true. I read on your sidebar that you were on a journey to keep rejoicing at all times. A worthy journey to be sure. It's amazing how our attitude changes when we're rejoicing.

    ReplyDelete

  13. This is great!!! It's so funny because it's so true.
    Thank you!

    ReplyDelete

  14. Hahaha...soooo true! They have it made! ;-)

    ReplyDelete

  15. I love your new header! What a pile of smiles!!!

    I also appreciate the "man humor". They are such easy targets.

    Love,
    Kathleen

    ReplyDelete

  16. Just wanted to let you know that I've mentioned you in my blog today (Jan. 25). ;)

    ReplyDelete

  17. Haha! Mary, did you make that up? It's just hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete

  18. WOW, are you ever going to be missing having your family around after everyone being together for such a great visit! I am going to be praying for you, my friend.

    Hugs to you,
    Dianna

    ReplyDelete

  19. Simple creatures, yes - but aren't they rather refreshing at times (when they're not annoying!!)

    One other thing - when they go out, "everything" they need fits into one wallet and/or pocket. Don't need to tell you about the "bottomless pit" that my purse is!!

    Thanks for the chuckle - GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete

  20. Hilarious and soooo true!!

    Love your new header.... : ))))

    Hugs!
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review: Too Many Voices

Image
It is one thing to visit a Women's Bible Study and admire the leader's teaching but then read her life story and learn she transitioned from a weed smoking Hippy to a powerful follower of Jesus.  I review Alane Haynes' new release, Too Many Voices/My Journey from Confusion to Clarity on my other blog, My Calm Corner, here.

Read more

Surviving Limbo

Image
If there was ever a place I never wanted to visit its Limbo.  No calm sea or happy dancing there in Limbo, just a boring pause desperate for a breakthrough.  Yet, I found myself there these last few weeks.
I’ve reached the limit for healing my left knee.  I can do no more until I have the right knee replaced.  My surgical knee compensates and I walk lopsided.  Plus it hurts.  My therapist, the standup comic, throws up his hands and says:  “You are in Limb-O!”
I set the date for another surgery.  That’s when the rigmarole began.   I flunked my chest X-ray.  I took it again and got the same result.  I felt like an outcast.
“You are inoperable,” they said.
I visited one doctor and then another.  I completed an echocardiogram. 
I wondered if my primary physician would release me for my very close surgery date.  Fear set in that something was wrong with me yet I felt great.  I didn’t fit the suggested diagnosis.  Why can’t life be smooth?
How to survive Limbo Control freaks hate Limbo.  They map…
Read more

Scary Scars

Image
A young trouble-lovin’ neighbor boy managed to scare me back in my preschool days.  My mom sent me to our neighbor’s house where Freddie hid in the shrubs and jumped out at me wearing his Frankenstein mask loaded with scars.  I screamed every time.  

I’ve had to forgive Freddie for harassing me when these memories pop up.  I’m sure he grew up to be a swell guy and if I could remember his last name I would look him up on social media and yell at him.

Those Scars! The scars on the mask looked real to me, a six year old timid girl.  What is it about scars that creep us out like that?
When I think of scars, I think of pain.  I don’t like to see people suffer. 
Scars are areas of fibrous tissue (fibrosis) that replace normal skin after injury. A scar results from the biological process of wound repair in the skin and other tissues of the body. Thus, scarring is a natural part of the healing process.     Wikipedia
My orthopedic surgeon is a petite female but as strong as her male peers in the f…
Read more