Friday Funnies ~ Parrot

Laughing is a good exercise after all those calories at dinner yesterday. Here's a funny story my daughter sent me. She is the only one who really understands my frustration with my very old cockatiel that I've had for 30 years and he drives me nuts with his loud squaking especially when the house is noisy!

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Kim hosts Friday Funnies at Homesteader's Heart. Log on for more humor!

The Venomous Intruder

It’s the middle of rattlesnake season here on the ranch. The local news anchor confirmed it. I’ve seen two already. While driving along our dirt road yesterday, I mistook a virulent enemy for a branch. I backed up the car, looked again and noticed the branch shifted revealing a rattle at its end. At one of our road association meetings in the barn, Shelby stood up and shouted, “ BOB !” to my next door neighbor. He’s our vice president and the one all eyes were on as he gave a presentation in the middle of the room. I sensed fear in the way she yelled his name. I learned after the meeting that Shelby called out to him like that because she saw a rattler slither in the barn door where she and I sat. Bob yielded to the interruption and quietly dispatched the enemy. Ten minutes later, this tough guy was back to center stage falling right back in step with the business at hand. Bob is my new best friend. ...

It's Not Always About the Tomatoes

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Marriage Tip #44: Do What He Wants

I thought about our upcoming anniversary. I prayed one morning for the marriages in my family, and a sentence about my own dropped in my spirit: “ Do What He Wants .” I paused, “Really?” He’s his own man. What if I end up in the wilderness camping by night and target shooting by day? What if a coyote decides to have me as a late night snack? We celebrated our anniversary early this year, Before the kids come next week. And we did it his way . This is how it happened. I never asked him about a plan or even mentioned our day. I remember how it all unfolded at the roundabout just as we drove into Sedona. He asked me if I would like to go to a baseball game. I responded excitedly, “Yeah!” Before the day was over, he purchased tickets for a Diamondbacks home game. He printed them out. He booked a hotel room so we wouldn’t have to drive home from the city after the late evening game. ...

Choose Joy in the Journey

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