Friday Funnies ~ Expert Testimony

If you ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility . . .

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'best comeback' line ... and we think he'll win.

Join Kim and the funny ladies at Friday Funnies for more laughs. Have a safe and fun weekend!

The Daisy House

I work at my desktop with the children at my feet. A makeshift area rug made of white butcher paper lines the floor where the baby, crayon in hand, imitates her big sister. Sister focuses on the finishing touches of the house she designed. The catchy children’s song, Wheels of the Bus, blasts from the Toddler Station on Pandora Radio. Six year old Sookie unveils her masterpiece and I ooh and awe at the sketch. “It’s a daisy house!” I exclaim. “I love the colors. I wonder what the inside looks like.” Without hesitating, Sookie describes each room. “There are five rooms and they are all different colors. One is Mint Chip, another Strawberry. There is a Vanilla room, and a Cookies & Cream room and the last room is Rocky Road. You have to wear a sweater inside because it is very cold.” “A house made of ice cream,” I reply. “It sounds heavenly!” I dug into my Bible readings that morning ...

Marriage Tip #44: Do What He Wants

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The Final Chapter

Are you like me when you join a new group of people? Do you navigate the crowd wondering where you fit in the best? I felt insecure when I joined Word Weavers, a Christian writing group in our town. Liz and Tony welcomed me with their accepting smiles. It meant a lot. I sat with Liz in a small critique group one week. I leaned in close so we could share a writer’s paper together. She mentioned she would passively kick back and listen because she felt sick that day. Tony kept his eye on her walking over with a plate of cookies and a hug for his wife. But Liz did not eat. Last week, Liz passed away. I attended the memorial service where I learned that Liz was a dreamer and fought for her dreams up to the very end! Liz’s dream, her third book Jamie , came true. The publisher approved her manuscript and moved heaven and earth to get the story printed in book form and delivered to Liz. ...

Choose Joy in the Journey

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