Skip to main content

Friday Funnies ~ Expert Testimony

If you ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility . . .

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'best comeback' line ... and we think he'll win.





Join Kim and the funny ladies at Friday Funnies for more laughs. Have a safe and fun weekend!

Comments

  1. Too funny!!

    Have a fabulous weekend!!

    Love and Blessings

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL...Thank you for another FF! Have a great weekend sister Mary. Praying God's blessings over you and your family! Thank you for yours!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fact truly is funnier than fiction!

    I hope YOU'RE having a great laugh today, too, my friend.

    Hugs,
    Kathleen

    ReplyDelete
  4. Luv it!!

    Have a blessed weekend, Mary!!

    HE IS FAITHFUL!!

    Love and Hugs! : ))
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete
  5. ROFL! Thanks, I needed that! Can't wait to share it.

    Have a JESUS-filled day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. OH Yeah! That's good.
    Have a great day my friend.
    HUGS!
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  7. You always make me smile!
    Blessings, hugs, and prayers,
    andrea


    PS: Please pray for my extended family. There is MUCH going on!! Only GOD can handle, deal with, or fix any of it!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a great response!! :)

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...

Holiday Movie Comes to Life

It’s uncanny when a new holiday movie comes out and resembles your personal life.   I came clean to my husband on that drive to the Harkins in Sedona confessing that the movie got bad ratings.   It isn’t the type of movie that he would choose to see in the first place.   Rotten Tomatoes gave it one star.   My prince charming replied:   “ Let’s see what we think of it and rate it ourselves.”   Yes!   High five to his palm! It started out as a fun afternoon date.   It would have been perfect if the lady directly in front of me didn’t have on super-strength perfume.   Smells can be troublesome when you’re prone to headaches.   I stuck my head in a big bucket of buttered popcorn; you know-- to alleviate her fragrance, because popcorn smell is less offensive.   What else is a girl like me to do? We named the genre “drama with comedy.”   Cast of characters acted like the typical family scene at Christmas tim...

Abba's Lap

I noticed a behavior pattern in little Amy, twenty months old, that I want to imitate.  She moves fast engaging in one toddler activity after another spinning like a whirlwind from one room to another.  Yet, she pauses,  intermittently , long enough to get refreshed.   I want to be like this grandchild of mine because she knows where to go and how to get comforted. Amy moves at record speed, putting more miles on a pedometer in one hour than my accumulated weekly workouts at the gym.  She can build a skyscraper so tall, I wonder why those bright pink Lego’s don’t topple to the ground as she continues to stack just one more piece on top. I learned never to leave the room to get another cup of coffee.  Once, when I returned, I found her climbing past the couch with hands and feet reaching for the living room drapes. She has a consistent habit that I admire.  In the midst of her activities, as she moves robustly from one play...