Skip to main content

Friday Funnies ~ Expert Testimony

If you ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility . . .

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'best comeback' line ... and we think he'll win.





Join Kim and the funny ladies at Friday Funnies for more laughs. Have a safe and fun weekend!

Comments

  1. Too funny!!

    Have a fabulous weekend!!

    Love and Blessings

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL...Thank you for another FF! Have a great weekend sister Mary. Praying God's blessings over you and your family! Thank you for yours!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fact truly is funnier than fiction!

    I hope YOU'RE having a great laugh today, too, my friend.

    Hugs,
    Kathleen

    ReplyDelete
  4. Luv it!!

    Have a blessed weekend, Mary!!

    HE IS FAITHFUL!!

    Love and Hugs! : ))
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete
  5. ROFL! Thanks, I needed that! Can't wait to share it.

    Have a JESUS-filled day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. OH Yeah! That's good.
    Have a great day my friend.
    HUGS!
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  7. You always make me smile!
    Blessings, hugs, and prayers,
    andrea


    PS: Please pray for my extended family. There is MUCH going on!! Only GOD can handle, deal with, or fix any of it!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a great response!! :)

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Venomous Intruder

It’s the middle of rattlesnake season here on the ranch.  The local news anchor confirmed it.   I’ve seen two already.    While driving along our dirt road yesterday, I mistook a virulent enemy for a branch. I backed up the car, looked again and noticed the branch shifted revealing a rattle at its end. At one of our road association meetings in the barn, Shelby stood up and shouted, “ BOB !” to my next door neighbor.  He’s our vice president and the one all eyes were on as he gave a presentation in the middle of the room.  I sensed fear in the way she yelled his name.  I learned after the meeting that Shelby called out to him like that because she saw a rattler slither in the barn door where she and I sat.  Bob yielded to the interruption and quietly dispatched the enemy.  Ten minutes later, this tough guy was back to center stage falling right back in step with the business at hand.   Bob is my new best friend. ...

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...

Hearts for the Kingdom Author Interview

When I finished reading Hearts for the Kingdom last week, I contacted the author, Cho Larson.   We talked about the book and he graciously agreed to be my guest today.  Together we hope to inspire you in your journey of faith to pursue God with a heart that is alive and beating for the Kingdom of God. Mary:  Cho, when I finished your book, I felt loved and very close to my Savior. Cho:  I’m overwhelmed at the encouraging response to it. Mary:  How long did it take to write this book? Cho:  God works in mysterious ways. As I’ve observed God’s hand at work, it’s easy for me to picture Him as the Great Conductor, orchestrating everything in perfect harmony. Hearts for the Kingdom wasn’t my original plan, but after I sent another manuscript I was working on to my editor, while waiting for him to edit, the need became clear for a foundational book. This book required about six months to complete. Mary: as an author, what is the me...