Spiritual Sunday ~ How to Know if You are in the Right Church


You Might Be In the Wrong Church If....

You have to pass through a metal detector to get inside.
The choir performs "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" - as a polka!
A week before Christmas the pastor announces the church will be "closed for the holidays."
New "Purpose-Driven" mission statement includes vague reference to Jell-O-wrestling.
On your second Sunday as a visitor they ask you to be their pastor.
On the offering envelopes is printed "Please make checks payable directly to the pastor."
The organist is Boris Karloff or appears to be his stunt double.
The floral arrangement on the altar is in the shape of a big horseshoe... that reads "Hollywood Park."
Everyone is handcuffed together at the ankles before preaching starts.
You are the only person in the sanctuary and its 15 minutes after church is scheduled to start.
The baptismal fount has bubbling water, is large enough to hold two or three seated adults, and looks suspiciously like a Jacuzzi.
Bill Clinton is the speaker of the day and his topic is "Morality in America - How to Be a Shining Example".
The minister falls asleep while delivering his own sermon.
The ushers passing around the offering basket are wearing ski masks.
The Bible they use is the Dr. Seuss version.
The Choir wears black leather robes.
New member candidates are required to submit W-2's for the last 5 years. The media refers to the church facilities as a "compound".

Spiritual Sundays is hosted by Ginger and Charlotte.

Comments

  1. Thanks for making me smile. I needed that.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

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  2. Love that your "FF" lasted until "SS" :) Did you see a size 6 1/2 shoe print on the enemy's butt that's why you knew our prayers are being answered? But what you didn't see was the gigantic "sandal shoe" that had dried blood on it...who kicked that butt long time ago :) Prayers continue but all the glory and thanks be to the One Who hears our petitions and is always ever near! Love right back at you, my long time friend and sister in Christ :) Enjoy your weekend [in the right church]...

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  3. too funny...I liked these. Have a great weekend. Sarah

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  4. Thanks for making me smile, love you.

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  5. Great bunch of funnies there :)
    God bless
    Peter

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  6. Always nice to smile and you made me do so first thing this morning.
    Susan

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  7. Now that's funny!

    I'm going to have to copy and send these to my pastor. He'll laugh as much as I did.

    Blessings,
    Kathleen

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  8. Oh, can you even imagine?!!!
    There's some real thought put behind these funnies. Thanks for the smile, Mary!

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  9. haha I love a good laugh. Blessings, Debbie

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  10. How funny!
    Thanks for sharing! Hope your day is blessed.

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  11. This is great! Thank-you for sharing this. I think we could all use a smile today.
    God Bless,
    Ginger

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  12. Oh that was cute. I wish you a good week my sister. God Bless you!

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  13. LOL Where do you find these! You always make me smile Mary!

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  14. Very funny. I was in a "funny" mood this weekend, as well.

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  15. Oh Mary.....I'm still LOL!!!! Off the charts laughing!!

    Sweet Blessings!
    Jackie

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  16. Hey Mary,

    And so I came here tonight to love on you and ended up with a big grin! :) Love you dear sister and I pray that all is well with you and your whole family.

    You're on my heart.

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  17. G'evening Mary ...
    You've been on my mind today. 'Just popping by to say "hi" and letting you know, you and your family are in my prayers during this crazy storm .... hoping you remain DRY and flood-less tonight.

    Blessings,
    Myra

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  18. Passing by to say a warm "hello" and to let you know that you are thought of and keeping you in prayers.

    "I will make my people strong in my power, and they will go wherever they wish by my authority. I, the Lord, have spoken!" -Zechariah 10:12

    Love and blessings to you sister. "Be strong in the Lord's mighty power!" -Ephesians 6:10

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  19. Just stopping by to check in on you. You've not been online as much lately and I missed you.

    love,
    Debbie

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  20. My Precious Smiling Friend,

    Stopping in to say I've missed you and love you. I'm still praying for you and your family.

    Big Hugs,
    Alleluiabelle

    ReplyDelete

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