Skip to main content

Spiritual Sunday ~ How to Know if You are in the Right Church


You Might Be In the Wrong Church If....

You have to pass through a metal detector to get inside.
The choir performs "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" - as a polka!
A week before Christmas the pastor announces the church will be "closed for the holidays."
New "Purpose-Driven" mission statement includes vague reference to Jell-O-wrestling.
On your second Sunday as a visitor they ask you to be their pastor.
On the offering envelopes is printed "Please make checks payable directly to the pastor."
The organist is Boris Karloff or appears to be his stunt double.
The floral arrangement on the altar is in the shape of a big horseshoe... that reads "Hollywood Park."
Everyone is handcuffed together at the ankles before preaching starts.
You are the only person in the sanctuary and its 15 minutes after church is scheduled to start.
The baptismal fount has bubbling water, is large enough to hold two or three seated adults, and looks suspiciously like a Jacuzzi.
Bill Clinton is the speaker of the day and his topic is "Morality in America - How to Be a Shining Example".
The minister falls asleep while delivering his own sermon.
The ushers passing around the offering basket are wearing ski masks.
The Bible they use is the Dr. Seuss version.
The Choir wears black leather robes.
New member candidates are required to submit W-2's for the last 5 years. The media refers to the church facilities as a "compound".

Spiritual Sundays is hosted by Ginger and Charlotte.

Comments

  1. CharlotteJanuary 16, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    Thanks for making me smile. I needed that.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

    ReplyDelete
  2. RCUBEsJanuary 16, 2010 at 6:58 PM

    Love that your "FF" lasted until "SS" :) Did you see a size 6 1/2 shoe print on the enemy's butt that's why you knew our prayers are being answered? But what you didn't see was the gigantic "sandal shoe" that had dried blood on it...who kicked that butt long time ago :) Prayers continue but all the glory and thanks be to the One Who hears our petitions and is always ever near! Love right back at you, my long time friend and sister in Christ :) Enjoy your weekend [in the right church]...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nikki (Sarah)January 16, 2010 at 7:06 PM

    too funny...I liked these. Have a great weekend. Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  4. DonettaJanuary 16, 2010 at 7:15 PM

    sweet smile back at ya :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. DeniseJanuary 16, 2010 at 8:12 PM

    Thanks for making me smile, love you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Peter StoneJanuary 17, 2010 at 5:17 AM

    Great bunch of funnies there :)
    God bless
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
  7. SusanJanuary 17, 2010 at 5:40 AM

    Always nice to smile and you made me do so first thing this morning.
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kathleen January 17, 2010 at 7:31 AM

    Now that's funny!

    I'm going to have to copy and send these to my pastor. He'll laugh as much as I did.

    Blessings,
    Kathleen

    ReplyDelete
  9. SmilingSallyJanuary 17, 2010 at 7:40 AM

    LOL Funny!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mevely317January 17, 2010 at 8:22 AM

    Oh, can you even imagine?!!!
    There's some real thought put behind these funnies. Thanks for the smile, Mary!

    ReplyDelete
  11. DebbieJanuary 17, 2010 at 9:27 AM

    haha I love a good laugh. Blessings, Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  12. GayleJanuary 17, 2010 at 1:21 PM

    I'm smiling now. :-) Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Musings of A MinisterJanuary 17, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  14. bpJanuary 17, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    How funny!
    Thanks for sharing! Hope your day is blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ginger~~Enchanting CottageJanuary 17, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    This is great! Thank-you for sharing this. I think we could all use a smile today.
    God Bless,
    Ginger

    ReplyDelete
  16. Beth in NCJanuary 17, 2010 at 4:55 PM

    Ha. Too cute!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Apron SenoritaJanuary 17, 2010 at 8:06 PM

    Oh that was cute. I wish you a good week my sister. God Bless you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. christy roseJanuary 18, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    LOL Where do you find these! You always make me smile Mary!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dayle ~ A Collection of DaysJanuary 18, 2010 at 10:44 AM

    Very funny. I was in a "funny" mood this weekend, as well.

    ReplyDelete
  20. JackieJanuary 19, 2010 at 1:46 PM

    Oh Mary.....I'm still LOL!!!! Off the charts laughing!!

    Sweet Blessings!
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete
  21. LisaShawJanuary 20, 2010 at 6:49 PM

    Hey Mary,

    And so I came here tonight to love on you and ended up with a big grin! :) Love you dear sister and I pray that all is well with you and your whole family.

    You're on my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mevely317January 21, 2010 at 7:47 PM

    G'evening Mary ...
    You've been on my mind today. 'Just popping by to say "hi" and letting you know, you and your family are in my prayers during this crazy storm .... hoping you remain DRY and flood-less tonight.

    Blessings,
    Myra

    ReplyDelete
  23. prashantJanuary 22, 2010 at 4:47 AM

    I liked these. Have a great weekend.

    Work from home

    ReplyDelete
  24. RCUBEsJanuary 28, 2010 at 9:26 AM

    Passing by to say a warm "hello" and to let you know that you are thought of and keeping you in prayers.

    "I will make my people strong in my power, and they will go wherever they wish by my authority. I, the Lord, have spoken!" -Zechariah 10:12

    Love and blessings to you sister. "Be strong in the Lord's mighty power!" -Ephesians 6:10

    ReplyDelete
  25. Debbie PetrasJanuary 29, 2010 at 1:17 AM

    Just stopping by to check in on you. You've not been online as much lately and I missed you.

    love,
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  26. AlleluiabelleJanuary 29, 2010 at 10:52 PM

    My Precious Smiling Friend,

    Stopping in to say I've missed you and love you. I'm still praying for you and your family.

    Big Hugs,
    Alleluiabelle

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...
23 comments
Read more

Abba's Lap

I noticed a behavior pattern in little Amy, twenty months old, that I want to imitate.  She moves fast engaging in one toddler activity after another spinning like a whirlwind from one room to another.  Yet, she pauses,  intermittently , long enough to get refreshed.   I want to be like this grandchild of mine because she knows where to go and how to get comforted. Amy moves at record speed, putting more miles on a pedometer in one hour than my accumulated weekly workouts at the gym.  She can build a skyscraper so tall, I wonder why those bright pink Lego’s don’t topple to the ground as she continues to stack just one more piece on top. I learned never to leave the room to get another cup of coffee.  Once, when I returned, I found her climbing past the couch with hands and feet reaching for the living room drapes. She has a consistent habit that I admire.  In the midst of her activities, as she moves robustly from one play...
51 comments
Read more

A Surprise at the Mall

I lost touch with a writer friend.  I missed her and her cheerful blog posts.  We met up in a most unusual way!  I’m still in awe of how it happened. I finished my shopping at the mall and took a short cut to get to the parking lot.  The path led me through the food court.  The smell of Chicken Fajitas stopped me in my tracks.  I planned lunch elsewhere, but now I followed my nose. I chewed my first bite of chicken taco salad when, out of nowhere, a loud redhead moved rapidly past the tables and into the booth with me.  “I know you !”  She shouted.  I pondered if I knew this crazy lady.  Did she mistake me for someone else?  She shouted louder and stuck her finger in my face:  “ You’re Mary; you have a blog called Pile of Smiles and you live in the Verde Valley .”   It took me a second to compose myself.  I stopped chewing my food.  I know I stared too long at her face and then she said:...
48 comments
Read more