Skip to main content

Friday Funnies ~ A Conversation in Heaven


 
SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.

Comments

  1. Debbie PetrasJune 29, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    I love your sense of humor Mary! You gave me a chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MartiJune 29, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    Too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. DeniseJune 29, 2012 at 8:39 PM

    Funny, lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mevely317June 29, 2012 at 8:42 PM

    Uh-oh ... I can actually "see" this conversation happening ... lol!
    BTW, I love your new profile pix :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. RCUBEsJune 29, 2012 at 10:17 PM

    Jokes like the ones you share take my mind off of things from work, yeah, like those stressful situations...

    Thank you sister Mary for the laugh and the prayers always...I'd say at least they both found "rest" up there.

    God bless and protect you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kim @ Homesteader's HeartJune 30, 2012 at 4:27 AM

    LOL!!! Oh that's funny.
    Have a great weekend my friend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJune 30, 2012 at 7:23 AM

    So funny!!! May I share this? Thank you for the hearty laugh!!!
    Blessings,
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  8. FloydJune 30, 2012 at 8:10 AM

    That was hilarious! I'm not much of a joke teller, but I'll try to remember this one!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nikki (Sarah)July 1, 2012 at 3:00 AM

    ouch!! Hope you're having a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kathleen July 4, 2012 at 7:06 PM

    Don't you ever wonder who thinks all these hysterical jokes up? Thank God for humor!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Diane RonzinoJuly 5, 2012 at 5:19 AM

    oh, my gosh! That was funny. Thanks, Mary!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Venomous Intruder

It’s the middle of rattlesnake season here on the ranch.  The local news anchor confirmed it.   I’ve seen two already.    While driving along our dirt road yesterday, I mistook a virulent enemy for a branch. I backed up the car, looked again and noticed the branch shifted revealing a rattle at its end. At one of our road association meetings in the barn, Shelby stood up and shouted, “ BOB !” to my next door neighbor.  He’s our vice president and the one all eyes were on as he gave a presentation in the middle of the room.  I sensed fear in the way she yelled his name.  I learned after the meeting that Shelby called out to him like that because she saw a rattler slither in the barn door where she and I sat.  Bob yielded to the interruption and quietly dispatched the enemy.  Ten minutes later, this tough guy was back to center stage falling right back in step with the business at hand.   Bob is my new best friend. ...
42 comments
Read more

Let's Live Together

I took a Ziploc bag of frozen pork chops out of the freezer and set them in the refrigerator to thaw.  I decided to make one of my favorite crock pot recipes with them.  I threatened the husband with a black eye if he ate the last of the sour cream because I needed it for that simple recipe. The next day, I carried my crock pot to my island in the kitchen and mixed the sour cream with an envelope of onion soup mix and decided to rinse the defrosted meat at the sink before adding to my recipe.  Then I noticed something. They weren’t pork chops.  To my surprise, I witnessed defrosted chicken thighs.  Very big chicken thighs; it must have been a hippy chicken.  The freezer bag’s label read Dec. ’15 in the husband’s writing.  I assumed it contained pork chops.  I was wrong. Write it like a man. Thinking like a man would think, he probably guessed that any fool could see these are chicken thighs when he placed them in a clear gal...
29 comments
Read more

Marriage Tip #44: Do What He Wants

I thought about our upcoming anniversary.   I prayed one morning for the marriages in my family, and a sentence about my own dropped in my spirit:  “ Do What He Wants .”  I paused, “Really?”  He’s his own man.  What if I end up in the wilderness camping by night and target shooting by day?  What if a coyote decides to have me as a late night snack? We celebrated our anniversary early this year, Before the kids come next week.   And we did it his way . This is how it happened. I never asked him about a plan or even mentioned our day.  I remember how it all unfolded at the roundabout just as we drove into Sedona.  He asked me if I would like to go to a baseball game.  I responded excitedly, “Yeah!”  Before the day was over, he purchased tickets for a Diamondbacks home game. He printed them out.  He booked a hotel room so we wouldn’t have to drive home from the city after the late evening game. ...
44 comments
Read more