Spiritual Sunday ~ How to Know if You are in the Right Church

You Might Be In the Wrong Church If....

You have to pass through a metal detector to get inside.
The choir performs "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" - as a polka!
A week before Christmas the pastor announces the church will be "closed for the holidays."
New "Purpose-Driven" mission statement includes vague reference to Jell-O-wrestling.
On your second Sunday as a visitor they ask you to be their pastor.
On the offering envelopes is printed "Please make checks payable directly to the pastor."
The organist is Boris Karloff or appears to be his stunt double.
The floral arrangement on the altar is in the shape of a big horseshoe... that reads "Hollywood Park."
Everyone is handcuffed together at the ankles before preaching starts.
You are the only person in the sanctuary and its 15 minutes after church is scheduled to start.
The baptismal fount has bubbling water, is large enough to hold two or three seated adults, and looks suspiciously like a Jacuzzi.
Bill Clinton is the speaker of the day and his topic is "Morality in America - How to Be a Shining Example".
The minister falls asleep while delivering his own sermon.
The ushers passing around the offering basket are wearing ski masks.
The Bible they use is the Dr. Seuss version.
The Choir wears black leather robes.
New member candidates are required to submit W-2's for the last 5 years. The media refers to the church facilities as a "compound".

Spiritual Sundays is hosted by Ginger and Charlotte.