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Spiritual Sunday ~ How to Know if You are in the Right Church


You Might Be In the Wrong Church If....

You have to pass through a metal detector to get inside.
The choir performs "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" - as a polka!
A week before Christmas the pastor announces the church will be "closed for the holidays."
New "Purpose-Driven" mission statement includes vague reference to Jell-O-wrestling.
On your second Sunday as a visitor they ask you to be their pastor.
On the offering envelopes is printed "Please make checks payable directly to the pastor."
The organist is Boris Karloff or appears to be his stunt double.
The floral arrangement on the altar is in the shape of a big horseshoe... that reads "Hollywood Park."
Everyone is handcuffed together at the ankles before preaching starts.
You are the only person in the sanctuary and its 15 minutes after church is scheduled to start.
The baptismal fount has bubbling water, is large enough to hold two or three seated adults, and looks suspiciously like a Jacuzzi.
Bill Clinton is the speaker of the day and his topic is "Morality in America - How to Be a Shining Example".
The minister falls asleep while delivering his own sermon.
The ushers passing around the offering basket are wearing ski masks.
The Bible they use is the Dr. Seuss version.
The Choir wears black leather robes.
New member candidates are required to submit W-2's for the last 5 years. The media refers to the church facilities as a "compound".

Spiritual Sundays is hosted by Ginger and Charlotte.

Comments

  1. CharlotteJanuary 16, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    Thanks for making me smile. I needed that.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

    ReplyDelete
  2. RCUBEsJanuary 16, 2010 at 6:58 PM

    Love that your "FF" lasted until "SS" :) Did you see a size 6 1/2 shoe print on the enemy's butt that's why you knew our prayers are being answered? But what you didn't see was the gigantic "sandal shoe" that had dried blood on it...who kicked that butt long time ago :) Prayers continue but all the glory and thanks be to the One Who hears our petitions and is always ever near! Love right back at you, my long time friend and sister in Christ :) Enjoy your weekend [in the right church]...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nikki (Sarah)January 16, 2010 at 7:06 PM

    too funny...I liked these. Have a great weekend. Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  4. DonettaJanuary 16, 2010 at 7:15 PM

    sweet smile back at ya :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. DeniseJanuary 16, 2010 at 8:12 PM

    Thanks for making me smile, love you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Peter StoneJanuary 17, 2010 at 5:17 AM

    Great bunch of funnies there :)
    God bless
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
  7. SusanJanuary 17, 2010 at 5:40 AM

    Always nice to smile and you made me do so first thing this morning.
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kathleen January 17, 2010 at 7:31 AM

    Now that's funny!

    I'm going to have to copy and send these to my pastor. He'll laugh as much as I did.

    Blessings,
    Kathleen

    ReplyDelete
  9. SmilingSallyJanuary 17, 2010 at 7:40 AM

    LOL Funny!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mevely317January 17, 2010 at 8:22 AM

    Oh, can you even imagine?!!!
    There's some real thought put behind these funnies. Thanks for the smile, Mary!

    ReplyDelete
  11. DebbieJanuary 17, 2010 at 9:27 AM

    haha I love a good laugh. Blessings, Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  12. GayleJanuary 17, 2010 at 1:21 PM

    I'm smiling now. :-) Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Musings of A MinisterJanuary 17, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  14. bpJanuary 17, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    How funny!
    Thanks for sharing! Hope your day is blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ginger~~Enchanting CottageJanuary 17, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    This is great! Thank-you for sharing this. I think we could all use a smile today.
    God Bless,
    Ginger

    ReplyDelete
  16. Beth in NCJanuary 17, 2010 at 4:55 PM

    Ha. Too cute!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Apron SenoritaJanuary 17, 2010 at 8:06 PM

    Oh that was cute. I wish you a good week my sister. God Bless you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. christy roseJanuary 18, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    LOL Where do you find these! You always make me smile Mary!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dayle ~ A Collection of DaysJanuary 18, 2010 at 10:44 AM

    Very funny. I was in a "funny" mood this weekend, as well.

    ReplyDelete
  20. JackieJanuary 19, 2010 at 1:46 PM

    Oh Mary.....I'm still LOL!!!! Off the charts laughing!!

    Sweet Blessings!
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete
  21. LisaShawJanuary 20, 2010 at 6:49 PM

    Hey Mary,

    And so I came here tonight to love on you and ended up with a big grin! :) Love you dear sister and I pray that all is well with you and your whole family.

    You're on my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mevely317January 21, 2010 at 7:47 PM

    G'evening Mary ...
    You've been on my mind today. 'Just popping by to say "hi" and letting you know, you and your family are in my prayers during this crazy storm .... hoping you remain DRY and flood-less tonight.

    Blessings,
    Myra

    ReplyDelete
  23. prashantJanuary 22, 2010 at 4:47 AM

    I liked these. Have a great weekend.

    Work from home

    ReplyDelete
  24. RCUBEsJanuary 28, 2010 at 9:26 AM

    Passing by to say a warm "hello" and to let you know that you are thought of and keeping you in prayers.

    "I will make my people strong in my power, and they will go wherever they wish by my authority. I, the Lord, have spoken!" -Zechariah 10:12

    Love and blessings to you sister. "Be strong in the Lord's mighty power!" -Ephesians 6:10

    ReplyDelete
  25. Debbie PetrasJanuary 29, 2010 at 1:17 AM

    Just stopping by to check in on you. You've not been online as much lately and I missed you.

    love,
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  26. AlleluiabelleJanuary 29, 2010 at 10:52 PM

    My Precious Smiling Friend,

    Stopping in to say I've missed you and love you. I'm still praying for you and your family.

    Big Hugs,
    Alleluiabelle

    ReplyDelete

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