Friday Funnies

It's so much fun to be a part of making the world smile today with Kim and my sisters at Homesteader's Heart. I'm submitting some Mother's Day humor for us to have some fun with today. Have a great Friday and have a wonderful Mother's Day this weekend!

Why God Made Moms

These answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why Did God Make Mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How Did God Make Mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic, plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What Ingredients Are Mothers Made Of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and a dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use stirring, I think.

Why did God give you your Mother and not some other Mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

How Do You Think Your Mom Was as a Little Girl?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about Dad before She married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background, like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say no to drugs and yes to chores?

Why Did your Mom Marry Your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

...and my absolute favorite...
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the Boss at your House?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be the boss, but she has to because Dad’s such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is. But only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.