Friday Funnies

A Beary Humorous Tale

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment: they would go into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they’re all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. “Well,” he says, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and Holy Mary, Mother of God! He became as gentle as a lamb. This bishop is coming next week to give him first communion and confirmation.”

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an IV drip. In this best fire and brimstone oratory, he exclaimed: “Well, brothers, you know that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s Holy Word! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, up another and down another until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.”

Both of them looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV’s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says: “Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

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