Friday Funnies ~ Parrot

Laughing is a good exercise after all those calories at dinner yesterday. Here's a funny story my daughter sent me. She is the only one who really understands my frustration with my very old cockatiel that I've had for 30 years and he drives me nuts with his loud squaking especially when the house is noisy!

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Kim hosts Friday Funnies at Homesteader's Heart. Log on for more humor!

The Daisy House

I work at my desktop with the children at my feet. A makeshift area rug made of white butcher paper lines the floor where the baby, crayon in hand, imitates her big sister. Sister focuses on the finishing touches of the house she designed. The catchy children’s song, Wheels of the Bus, blasts from the Toddler Station on Pandora Radio. Six year old Sookie unveils her masterpiece and I ooh and awe at the sketch. “It’s a daisy house!” I exclaim. “I love the colors. I wonder what the inside looks like.” Without hesitating, Sookie describes each room. “There are five rooms and they are all different colors. One is Mint Chip, another Strawberry. There is a Vanilla room, and a Cookies & Cream room and the last room is Rocky Road. You have to wear a sweater inside because it is very cold.” “A house made of ice cream,” I reply. “It sounds heavenly!” I dug into my Bible readings that morning ...

A Memorial Day Reflection

Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls. Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts run through my mind. The journey of loss takes on various emotions. The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness. In a split second, I would forget he departed forever. I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home. My mind is realistic now. He's not coming back. There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars. He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day! And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...

Marriage Tip #44: Do What He Wants

I thought about our upcoming anniversary. I prayed one morning for the marriages in my family, and a sentence about my own dropped in my spirit: “ Do What He Wants .” I paused, “Really?” He’s his own man. What if I end up in the wilderness camping by night and target shooting by day? What if a coyote decides to have me as a late night snack? We celebrated our anniversary early this year, Before the kids come next week. And we did it his way . This is how it happened. I never asked him about a plan or even mentioned our day. I remember how it all unfolded at the roundabout just as we drove into Sedona. He asked me if I would like to go to a baseball game. I responded excitedly, “Yeah!” Before the day was over, he purchased tickets for a Diamondbacks home game. He printed them out. He booked a hotel room so we wouldn’t have to drive home from the city after the late evening game. ...

Choose Joy in the Journey

Search This Blog