Skip to main content

Friday Funnies!


Toward the end of Sunday service, the minister asked: “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?” 80% held up their hands. The minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. “Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don't have any.” She replied, smiling sweetly. “Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?” “Ninety-eight,” she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
“Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell all of us how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?”' The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation and said, “I outlived all those bums.”




Kim and the funny ladies at Friday Funnies are ready to make you laugh this Friday so be sure to drop by! Have a great weekend everyone.

Comments

  1. I just LOVE your Friday stories! I am laughing out loud right now!! Great way to begin this Friday! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm with Sonja, Mary! Your Friday Funnies always crack me up!!

    Have a blessed and filled with smiles weekend!!

    Luv, Hugs and Sweet Blessings!
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete
  3. Where do you get your good jokes sister Mary? You never run out! And I get to enjoy 'em all every Friday! Yipee! Thank you. Especially at this time I could use some laughter...My pain is easing up a bit. But I'm still taking things slowly. Can't afford to reinjure whatever muscle I hurt! I didn't know I have a muscle there on my right shoulder. Until I hurt it! :) Thank you for your sweet thoughts and feeling all those wonderful prayers! Keeping you in mine. Have a great weekend. Oopppsss. I need to pick up my denture. It fell when I laughed!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah Mary that is very funny. At least she is very honest.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh THAT is funny! I love it.
    Thank you my friend.
    I hope you have a great weekend.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aw...and here I was leaning in to learn her secret! Lol!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I too love your Friday Funnies!!! You are a blessing my friend.
    Bren

    ReplyDelete
  8. That is hilarious! Again, you always make me smile! :) You have a precious gift.

    I hope you're doing well and enjoying life as the summer winds down (and hopefully the scorching heat).

    Much love,

    Andrea

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol...this is too cute! Have a wonderful weekend Mary! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Too funny!! Found you from way at Beth at Outnumbered 3 to 1 for Friday Funnies!

    ~Beth

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love to laugh! Thank you for this post!!!! It's my 'Saturday Funnies'..heehee!

    ReplyDelete
  12. LOL! OK, even though I kinda saw it coming, I spewed my tea! Thanks ever so for spreading the joy!

    Have a JESUS-filled day! ^i^

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Memorial Day Reflection

  Memorial Day is always noteworthy for me and my girls.  Next Thursday marks the third year of missing their father, my husband. So many thoughts  run through my mind.  The journey of loss takes on various emotions.  The strongest feeling, at first, was emptiness.  In a split second, I would forget he departed forever.  I imagined things I needed to talk to him about when he got back home.  My mind is realistic now.  He's not coming back.  There will be no more times of sitting on the porch swing together on the front deck staring at the moon and the stars.  He would tell me all he knew about the majestic night sky. I have so much I wish I could tell him, like the excitement of seeing our oldest grandchild make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized on Mother's Day!  And our little Amy, 11 years old, I wish he could have seen her on stage receiving her induction to the National Honor Society. Our daughters have their own ...

A Veteran's Story

  I noticed Bill sitting in our local park where I walk.   He glanced my way just as I finished the last exercise walk song on my playlist.   He shouted and pointed to my car:   “Hey, is that your car with the Nam front license plate?   I stepped closer into the veranda where Bill sat on a picnic bench.   I noticed his Vietnam Vet cap and instantly I knew why I walked there that day.   The Marine Vet served during the 1960’s, the same time span as my husband.   Bill talked a lot about the war evoking my emotions from laughter to tears.   My South Vietnam front plate often prompts a conversation with a stranger and I’ve learned a deep respect for it over the years.   It is my way of listening to a veteran.   I enjoyed listening to Bill.   He made me laugh in spots but he made me cry as well.   Like when he talked about the sandwich lady.   “Do you ever eat at the sandwich shop in the gas station down the street...

The Tiny Pie

When I stopped at the corner store to pick up some dog food on the way home, the guy ahead of me in line waved to pass him on our way to the register.  He reached for another bag of comfort food to add to his mounting stash of Oreo cookies in his basket.  I joked with him that I am not judging.  I gained four pounds during this Apocalypse.  I can either flatten the curve Or flatten the stomach, But I can’t do both! Have you seen the cute and tasty miniature pies in the grocery store which sell for fifty cents?  This is the story of the tiny pie. My daughter, the germaphobe, rarely leaves the house except to exercise by walking around the neighborhood with the dog or the kids.  She does not shop in grocery stores but orders her groceries on line and picks them up at the store.  The process works well for her even when requested items cannot be filled and substitutions come into play.  Like the little pie. She didn’t want a...