Skip to main content

Spiritual Sundays


My pastor started his Father’s Day Message last Sunday because he knew it would run for two weeks. He began his remarks with “rules that men have for their wives.” I think you will find these humorous:


1. Men are not mind readers.


2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


3. I am in shape. Round is a shape.


4. All men see in only 16 colors: like Windows Default Settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.


6. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


7. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.


8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


9. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.


10. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.


Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sundays which encourage us so much.

Comments

  1. Oh this is too funny!
    Have a blessed Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like a preacher with a sense of humor. We're looking forward to hearing Dr. Tim Kimmell tomorrow morning. My daughter calls him a stand up comedian. He writes good books and is an excellent preacher too.
    Have a wonderful Spiritual Sunday.
    Charlotte

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't you just love the commonalities among the male gender? It wouldn't be so funny were it not so true!

    I like "round is a shape". I'm going to use that one myself!

    Hugs,
    Kathleen

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'll make sure to show these to my hubby. I'm sure he would agree with them. Thanks for the Sunday morning smile!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Pretty cute! Thanks for sharing today and have a wonderful Sunday.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL Good one. I'd love to hear that message. Happy Sunday!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Very funny. I need a good laugh early in the morning. Now I need to go get ready for church.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You definitely put a smile on my face this morning Mary! Thanks for sharing part of your pastor's message. My hubby remembers everything I've done and said when it suits him. I totally forget. But we do laugh about that.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good morning Mary!

    Isn't humor a great way of communicating? I think when we're smiling/laughing our souls just become more open and receptive to God's messages.

    'Hope you're enjoying a great day! Your post has made mine better already!

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL! That is too cute...and truthful! Thanks for my Sunday laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  11. So cute! Men are men no matter where, right? Your pastor has a good sense of humor!


    Blessings,
    ~Jean

    ReplyDelete
  12. Had a very busy night until the last minute that I was supposed to be done with my shift! It felt like I got beaten up...so thank you for sharing this, a time now for me to relax and have a little laugh. A little massage for my face as I smile, too. Happy Father's Day to your hubby and all our praise and worship to our Father Who deserves it! Happy Sunday sister! Blessings and love to you. I brought you some cookies! Told ya, we'll put our feet up on our favorite seats today! Chocolate chip okay? :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. These are too funny, I like when we can laugh at church.
    Have a great day,
    Ginger

    ReplyDelete
  14. Too funny!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

    Have a wonderful Sunday!!!

    God bless you!!!
    XOXO
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  15. funny and so very true!
    Love,
    Kelly

    ReplyDelete
  16. It is good to have a sense of humor--the message today in church brought my husband down...he needs to read these thoughts. Love to you...robin

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love that, Mary!!! Thank you for sharing! It all makes sense to me! :)

    Have a wonderful, blessed Monday!

    With God's Love,

    Andrea

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi Dear Friend,

    These are so funny LOL! I hope that you and your husband had a blessed Father's Day.

    I have an award for you. Please stop over at my site and pick it up.

    I love you dear, sweet friend,
    Alleluiabelle

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hello! Came over and though I know that you had gotten this blog award, I still want to share it with you because you're one of really great friends who continue to inspire and bless me. If you have a chance, come by and pick it up if you want to. Happy Monday! Love ya.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Bey you heard a few groans from the women over this one LOL!

    Brave man - That was too funny!

    It sounds just like my hubby talking

    Thanks for the giggle,
    Kymber

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Because He Lives, I Can Move

I’m currently in one of those places where you lay out all the options and then you make the best decision. It seems, however, like none of the choices are fair or attractive. I know God will help me in my situation because I desire His guidance. I’m clinging to His Word which promises that ALL things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose, Romans 8:28. I heard a great teaching this week about seeking God’s will and all the freedom that surrender brings. We can know that God is bringing about a victory if we trust Him with each and every decision. The speaker illustrated his point with a famous painting. The painting depicts a look of despair on the chess player’s face. He’s playing Satan and his soul is at stake. It looks like Satan is winning. Checkmate! When Paul Morphy saw this painting back in the 1800’s, he set up a chess board and aligned the pieces to reflect the painting. Being a world champion, he studied the board. His conclusi

A Veteran's Story

  I noticed Bill sitting in our local park where I walk.   He glanced my way just as I finished the last exercise walk song on my playlist.   He shouted and pointed to my car:   “Hey, is that your car with the Nam front license plate?   I stepped closer into the veranda where Bill sat on a picnic bench.   I noticed his Vietnam Vet cap and instantly I knew why I walked there that day.   The Marine Vet served during the 1960’s, the same time span as my husband.   Bill talked a lot about the war evoking my emotions from laughter to tears.   My South Vietnam front plate often prompts a conversation with a stranger and I’ve learned a deep respect for it over the years.   It is my way of listening to a veteran.   I enjoyed listening to Bill.   He made me laugh in spots but he made me cry as well.   Like when he talked about the sandwich lady.   “Do you ever eat at the sandwich shop in the gas station down the street?”   I replied that I’ve order coffee once in that place with a turke

Hello August

  We’re smack in the middle of summer but I will pause and count my blessings this season.   Our arid Arizona days have turned into monsoon rains and we are refreshed.   Triple digits are put on hold for a while and cooler desert mornings  allow me longer hours of yard work, especially after the messy, wild storms.   We’ve always grown hollyhocks, but for some reason, they went dormant the last two years.   I remember Tom on his sickbed reminding me to water the seeds he planted near the fence and, like a crazy lady, I watered what seemed like empty dirt all last year.   Was he confused, maybe?   Come spring I saw the fluffy, green leaves sprout all along the fence line.   I got excited when the different colored flowers opened.  You never know what you're going to get! As I watered, I thought of the Scripture verse about “calling forth that which is not as though it was.”   Hmm, I should apply that one to several areas of my life!   I spent last week with family in Tucson.